Drunken Deals
by mr. eames
Summary: What did the Marauders do when they were drunk? ‘We, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, agree that if after this summer vacation neither one of us are steadily dating anyone that we will date each other.’ A lot. Sirius/Remus.
1. The Things I Do For You When I'm Drunk

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: I got inspired by a South Park story to write this one. The basic idea is totally from the story Paper Saucers by Fletset. Check it out if you want to laugh, I promise you will. It's the same basic idea but not the same story at all, but I still give her all the credit for inspiring me. So read on, young friends. Or old friends. Or people who aren't even friends with me at all. Read on.  
**Disclaimer**: I own the books, does that count?

**Chapter One**: The Things I Do For You When I'm Drunk

"Alright, alright," Sirius Black said, teetering over the arm of the blood red couch he was sharing with Remus Lupin. "No more for Paddy, no more." He tipped the bottle of Firewhisky in his hands towards the ornate carpet below but only managed to drop it on the floor and watch it roll underneath the chair that James Potter was snoring on. Sirius laughed at the event that was hysterical to him, and fell backwards, his head resting on the edge of Remus' leg. "Why the sad face, Moony?"

"I'm not sad, Sirius, I'm just sleepy." Remus groaned inwardly as his headache became more prevalent. Alcohol did not go well with his system; he couldn't even stomach Butterbeer when they went into Hogsmeade. It did strange things to stomach, which aptly explained what Sirius did to him as well. The combination of the drink and his mate that close made him experience a mixture of nervousness and impulsiveness.

Sirius wasn't talking. A once in a lifetime chance was being thrown Remus' way and he decided to take it. "I've got an idea." Like he hadn't thought of this before. "Have you ever noticed that neither of us can find someone to date who really suits us?" Sirius peered up at him and nodded, then hiccupped and laughed. "Well, I had an idea."

"You already said that Moony. _Spit _it out." Emphasizing the word spit with some of his own and then giggling raucously, holding his stomach and rolling onto his side so that he was about to fall off of the couch.

"Oh, Merlin, disgusting." Remus wiped the spit off of his left arm, then proceeded to mess up Sirius' hair with his spit-drenched hand. Sirius giggled, a broken record. "Now shut up you." He reached to cover Sirius mouth and just ended up getting even more spit on his hand. The song replayed. "It's like a deal, alright? It's almost the end of the year, so I figure if by the time sixth year starts up neither of us is dating anyone…we'll date each other."

"Each other?"

"Me and you, we'll just forget about girls and date each other."

"Whatever you say Moony. Let's put this into writing."

"Is there some chance we'll be able to read said writing after it is written?"

Remus only received a glare and then Sirius fell off of couch, apparently for some sort of purpose. He literally dragged himself across the floor to where someone's forgotten Potions book and parchment lay and snitched the parchment and left-behind quill, returning innocently like the little fiend he was. "What to write, hm, Rem? Want to make this sound official, don't we? Alright, let's see…"

'We, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, agree that if after this summer vacation neither one of us are steadily dating anyone that we will date each other.'

"Keep the change," Sirius said, folding up the parchment and slipping it into the band of Remus' boxers. He fell asleep quickly, and his head found Remus' shoulder to be an excellent pillow, but then when didn't it? Sirius seemed to have the worst tolerance of alcohol out of all of them, and Remus had the best. James simply feel asleep after exactly two and a half bottles of Firewhisky, at which point Sirius would steal the other half and then add it to his already spirited system.

Peter Pettigrew, on the other hand, didn't even bother joining them anymore. Not since the time _Incendio _had been cast on him and his left eyebrow had tragically passed away. As for Remus, well, he had the best tolerance of the four, but that didn't mean much when the next best couldn't even keep his eyes open. The only benefit that Remus had with this talent was that he remembered everything that happened. That didn't mean that he had any control over what he did.

No, he definitely didn't have _any _control over what he did. Once James and Sirius discovered their lycanthrope friend's ability to recall all the events of a drunken event they were horrified and awed. Because Remus would never use what happened against them, and they were dying to hold that power over each other. Remus reveled in this, the one thing that made him fearful to his friends.

The trio had spent so many plastered nights in the Common Room that it was normal for them to wake up a few minutes before breakfast when other students traipsed down from the dormitories, calling them fags and getting smiles in return. They all knew that everyone speculated about what they did under the influence, and liked the keep up the perpetual idea that the answer was something along the lines of: 'Anything and everything.' It wasn't like Padfoot or Prongs would remember anyway.

Remus even forgot about the agreement until he was up in the dorms, hurriedly putting on a new pair of trousers after he had realized there were splashes of Firewhisky all down the left leg. Buttoning his pants he saw a piece of folded parchment fall to the ground. He leaned down and picked it up, the immediately recognized what it was. The drunken deal was left in his trunk and would stay there for the summer, melting away from Remus' memory.

"Did we get up to anything crazy last night, Rem?" How many times had he been asked that now? They all knew that Remus wouldn't answer with anything of true merit, it was the only time he lied after all. Yet everyone at the Gryffindor table would subconsciously talk in a softer voice and turn towards where the trio plus the rat sat just in case he decided to break character and say something. They were always hoping that some day they would get some inkling of what really went on.

"Oh, right, well Sirius and I are dating now, you know." James nodded and Sirius brought one hand to his mouth and slapped Remus' arm in an overdone show of false surprise. Peter, who never realized these things were a joke, scooted quickly away and bumped into Lily Evans who was rolling her eyes. The rest of the table was a sea of giggles and smiles. Remus liked these sorts of days; it was the only time he got any real recognition over his much more popular friends.

What if this time it had been slightly true? Remus had certainly been more inventive than this before. Once he had even admitted to being a werewolf and no one had thought a thing about it. "Well, we've certainly done crazier things before, haven't we, Prongs? Moony?" Sirius said with a gratuitous wink to his mates, the spotlight affixed back to where it always was, Remus cast back to the supporting role.

"I'm not so sure about that anymore," Remus muttered to himself, thinking about the piece of parchment that sat in his trunk under various books, books and more books, all of which he had read more times than he could remember. Out of the craziest things he had done while drunk, he had to put agreeing to date one of his best mates at least in the top five.

Alright, maybe top ten.

**A/N**: This is basically a prologue. Nothing too serious right now. Oh gods it's almost humor right now. I swear it's going to be the most over the top, angsty thing you've ever read. No, not really. But, after this it's going to be more serious, and I've decided to make it about acceptance and tolerance a lot, because we need more of that. Review even if you hate it.


	2. What Are We? Sailors?

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: Thanks to all the reviews I got. I'd most likely be continuing this without them for my own guilty pleasure, but the reviews certainly made me want to continue it even more. So, yeah, here we go with a new chapter. Since it's never stated completely about what happened with Remus' parents I'm going to be cliché and his dad left his mum, but his mum's such a dear, so she's happy because I want her to be.

**Chapter Two**: What Are We? Sailors?

"No, mum, no seriously, mum." Remus Lupin blushed as his mother planted a kiss on his cheek and pulled him into an embrace. Carys Lupin was generally overprotective, intense and brash. Understandably so, she had been like this her entire life but even more so in the recent years since Remus had been born and his father had left them.

Her son, on the other hand, was only intense in the way of being intensely calm and thoughtful, but received the rather burdensome gene that contained her overprotective attitude. Much to his friend's dismay he applied this to them constantly and was always trying to advise them on what, and often on what not, to do. Yet, and this was possibly the largest flaw in the werewolf's personality, he never enforced the ways he tried to protect them whereas his mother succeeded in controlling much of his home life. For his benefit, she said.

"Alright, you have a good year Remus," his mother said, finally letting him go. She did this every year, gave him a look as if she was memorizing him, and then would smile tightly, and find some sort of problem with him. "I don't know when was the last time you got a haircut, but we really should have stopped somewhere on the way here. Christmas vacation, I think, alright?"

"Right, mum, right. Oh and speaking of people who need a haircut." Sirius and James were only a few hundred feet away, rapidly approaching with James' parents in tow. The last owl post that Remus had received had been a joint piece between the two letting him know that Sirius had moved into the Potter household after running away from his own home. It had only been a matter of time. "I'll see you at Christmas, then mum. Love you." Muttering the last words as his friends came into earshot.

"Oi, Moony, didn't know you had it in you! What a catch!" As Remus' mother insisted on giving him yet another kiss he was forced to be ridiculed by Sirius while James laughed in the background. "Hello there Mrs. Lupin, I bet you're just bursting at what antics we'll be getting your little Remmy into this year." Padfoot and Prongs exchanged devilish grins at these words and Remus sighed with a small smile.

Things were back to normal.

* * *

Platform 9 ¾ was in chaos. Enough people were being reunited that you couldn't go a few feet without hearing some girl squeal or the vociferous laughter of a group of friends meeting up. Younger kids were accompanied by their parents, and the older students laughed as if they hadn't been brought to King's Cross by their guardians and had never had to suffer the embarrassment of being seen off by them.

They had a brief encounter with Lily Evans, which James cut short and, with a wink, left his two friends on their own. The two decided to find a compartment to sit in for the train ride before they were picked over and they were forced to share with some rather greasy companions. Remus wasn't to be staying with them as he had been appointed a Prefect over the summer.

"I'm not even joking though; I really think they're going to get together this year." They were discussing James and Lily, who they could see out the window of their compartment. They could see the redhead far off in the crowd and could only guess that their friend was with her. "Honestly, everyone knows it's going to happen eventually. One of us four has to start dating someone. No one expects me too, thank the gods."

"So was it an eventful summer of conquest for Sirius Black? Not that it could compare to mine; of course, we all know how I am with the ladies." If sarcasm was a disease Remus was in desperate need of a cure.

"Oh, every day mate, right in front of my family and everything. Mum was so proud, bless her soul. And then I when I left and went to James' house, oh! Let me tell you the fun we had." Oh, Merlin, it was spreading like the plague.

"I'll take that as a no." Sirius shrugged and Remus took that as an agreement to his statement. "I'm surprised. Shouldn't you be on your deathbed or something? For me, I mean, it's different, but I had the impression that you were different from the rest of us and could only live so long without sex. I appear to be mistaken."

"Oh, no, Rem, no you're completely right about that one," Sirius said, slumping against the window and almost looked as if he was in pain. Sometimes Remus wasn't sure if he was just putting on an act or if he was being truthful. It was so hard to tell with Sirius. "I'm almost to my breaking point, but there's hope! Look at all those girls out there. Admittedly, it is getting hard to find someone I haven't shagged before, but I'm sure there are some new girls out there."

"Another year of not settling down with anyone, then?" Remus asked. Sirius laughed in response, for what seemed like the longest time, which made Remus feel that his question was completely foolish.

"Well you never know, but, no, Moony, I'm not dating anyone steadily right now if that's what you mean." He laughed again, but this time Remus just felt himself turn pale. It _had _to be an accident. Sirius couldn't remember that piece of parchment, could he? The words out of his mouth had only just made Remus remember the agreement they had made. "Rem, are you alright? Excited that I'm not-"

Now they were both silent, and Remus was almost sure that _somehow _Sirius had remembered the words they had written down while they were drunk in the common room the previous year. They were staring at each other and Remus knew he wasn't matching Sirius' burning look that seemed to question the entire situation.

_Does this mean what I think it means?_

"Stop admiring each other's looks, I'm here now." Leave it to James to break up the most awkward circumstance of Remus' life. He wasn't sure whether he should turn around and punch him in the face or hug his mate, thanking him for saving him. "And look what the stag dragged in," he continued, oblivious to the obvious discomfort in the compartment.

"Hey guys!" Peter Pettigrew was as eager to please them as ever. Sirius and Remus mumbled their hellos and then the werewolf dismissed himself quickly citing the need to get to the Prefect compartment, although it was mostly a need to get out of _this _compartment and fast.

* * *

"Are you telling me…that you and Sirius agreed to-_to date each other_?" The last words were whispered in a hushed tone by Lily Evans, whose eyes were wide as saucers, staring at Remus as if he were completely mental. Maybe he was. They sat in the Prefect's compartment, huddled away from all the other badge-wearers. Remus wasn't one to confide in many people, but Lily was one person he found he could trust.

"I know, it's completely weird. I realize that, and I know there's, what, zero gay guys at our school or anywhere for that matter. At least, zero ready and willing to admit it. But we were drunk Lily, doesn't that make it, like, alright?" Remus wasn't sure if he was trying to justify his actions that night or justify actually dating Sirius. His words could be taken either way.

Lily seemed to take it in the latter fashion. "Well you two would get more than enough criticism, hell, I don't even know if I…look, it would be weird is all I'm going to say on the matter." She held up her hands and backed away slightly. "I don't want to get too into this, because I like you Remus and I'm not going to discourage you if you really want to do this, but I don't want you to get hurt. It's like if me and James dated, I mean everyone would be shocked, but if it worked out in the end we were happy our true friends would be happy for us, you know?"

It wasn't like if James and Lily went out at all, Remus thought, although he nodded lightly at her words. Some people would be surprised at that couple, but it wasn't like Remus and Sirius at all. For one thing, they were talking about a heterosexual relationship here, and whether or not people expected them to get together, it was a boy and a girl and everyone anticipated that.

"I suppose you're right," Remus lied. "And while we're at it how about James and Severus start dating as well. Hopefully mine and Sirius' relationship would pale in comparison and we could skip down the halls and at least have people thinking 'Well, they may be complete cream puffs, but they're not the _weirdest _couple around here, now are they?' Do you think that would work?" This scathing side of his attitude rarely showed, but right now was one of the times that it was as obvious as a giant in a room full of dwarfs.

"Oh, shut up, you," Lily muttered, a blush falling onto her cheeks. Remus took this as a sign that he had made a very valid point.

* * *

The Great Hall served as much more than a place for consuming food. It was a vessel of information. If you wanted to know something about someone your best bet was to eavesdrop on their conversation or listen to the gossip that was being spread. If one was lucky they would hear a few choice words being said of a particularity interesting piece of news and pass it on to others. Thus creating the transport through which rumors flowed.

The first day of term was the busiest night for this. Words were floating around left and right about what people had done over summer vacation. James had, apparently, bedded a widow and was planning on proposing to her. "And you don't even tell your best mates," Sirius said in a solemn tone. The Animagus had avoided Remus' stare since they had sat down and they both blushed lightly every time they were caught looking at one another.

Remus was barely talking because, for whatever reason, he was certain word had gotten out about the agreement made the year before. Whether someone was noticing the red faces of him and his mate or if they had overheard him speaking to Lily about the matter. Of course no one was talking about it, but his paranoia gripped him and he kept so quiet that James commented on it.

"Is it that time of the month already, Moony?" Always clever, the raven-haired boy spoke with a twinkle in his eyes. "You can always tell us these sorts of things, you know." He reached out and touched Remus' hand, but Remus pulled his hand away, much too hastily and James gave him a look of confusion. "Mood swings and everything, are you sure you're not pregnant, Rem?"

"Sorry, er, I haven't been sleeping well. And, yeah, next week is the start of a new cycle after all." James took this excuse at face value and shrugged returning to talk to Sirius about an unknown subject. Sirius, though listening to James, looked at Remus and raised his eyebrows. They were going to have to talk, and soon.

"Are you sure you're alright Remus?" To his left sat Peter who was looking at him with a weird respect that he usually reserved for their other two friends. Remus attributed this new attitude towards his shiny Prefect badge and sighed inwardly at the thought. He knew why he had been appointed to the job and also knew he would never really exercise his power over his friends.

"I'm just sleepy is all, Peter, don't worry about me, alright?" Peter nodded and returned to eating his food. Despite his encouraging smile and words, Remus wasn't feeling very well at all. In fact, he was willing to say that he felt rather sick. But he wasn't ill at all. And, he thought to himself angrily, he was _not _lovesick in the least.

Well, maybe a little.

* * *

"Going to bed early?" Remus didn't bother looking up from his book when he asked this question of James. Early was nearly midnight with only three people left in the common room. Remus' heart was beating fast enough to promote the notion that there were several other students in the room anyway. After all, it was now or never.

"I'm thinking I won't be staying up late this year. I mean, sixth year is really important right? Wouldn't want to slack off or anything." Sirius sniggered from where he lay on the couch and Remus raised his eyebrows and looked at his friend skeptically. "Well, alright, maybe I said that last year. But I mean it this time. Merlin, I said that last year as well, didn't I? Fuck it, I'm going to bed. Don't you two get up to anything crazy without me."

Silence settled over the fire-lit room once James ascended to the dormitories. Remus pretended that the subject of Astronomy was absolutely fascinating to him, but couldn't help but turn to the page of Canis Major and stare at the star Sirius for a few quiet minutes. Frustrated with himself he shut the book and let it fall on the floor in front of him with a heavy sigh.

"I understand you aren't dating anyone, how did we put it? Steadily?" Sirius said, looking at him from the couch opposite of the chair Remus sat in. He was grinning as if this whole thing was a lead-up to an incredibly funny punch line, and Sirius had heard the joke before too many times. He knew how it would end and it wasn't funny to him anymore, but he was amused as to what Remus' reaction would be.

"That's how we put it. And, no, I'm not. It also seems that summer vacation is over, unless this is all a dream and I'm completely mistaken. In which case, this is extremely embarrassing." Who was he kidding? This was extremely embarrassing no matter what.

"Touché. But I think the real point here is: Do deals count if said deal-makers were drunk at the time the idea was conceived and led out? Are we fully responsible for our actions, and, furthermore, are we really going to go through with this?" Sirius made many compelling points, all of which Remus was unsure of how to answer. "I'll tell you this right now, I'm willing to do this for the shock value for alone, but I know that's not your style Moony and I respect you for that. So you can choose what we're going to do about this. Of course if we do date, you know what that means, right?"

Oh, gods, he didn't really mean… "No. What?" His voice was squeaky and nervous.

"Well I don't cheat on people, Rem. Not that I've ever really had a chance to. Point being, as you so astutely noted earlier, I need sex. And I need to snog. Dating, for me, goes hand in hand with those principals. So dating me includes those as fringe benefits. But whether _you_ view those as such decides whether you want to do this or not. So tell me, Remus, what do you want to do?"

A pause was inevitable. Remus had to soak all this information up, understand it fully. It wasn't very hard to understand. He had two choices here. First, he could just say no, and Sirius would be fine with that and no one would ever be any the wiser. Second, he could say yes and acquire the 'fringe benefits,' but end up being ridiculed, he was sure, by the majority of the student body. Yet, the first option upset him almost as much as the second, simply because, and here was the kicker, he wanted to know what it was like to date Sirius Black.

"Alright. We made a deal after all."

**A/N**: As you (hopefully) can see, this story isn't going to be about Sirius and Remus getting together. Of course, there's some awkwardness at first, but they're pretty much dating. Oh, yes, and the chapter is so named because this is a ship (the best one, I might add) after all, and Remus and Sirius are sailors. ;D And Remus' mother's name means love, which I thought was appropriate. Creepy thing about this story that you probably don't care about. We did a puzzle in my English class today and it was about the star constellations, and the first two stars were Sirius and Orion. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. Review even if you hate it.


	3. Could You Repeat That, Please?

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: I update things way too fast. Let me just say thank you to Julian Casablancas of being really attractive and in a band fame. A very…male on male affection scene in the video Juicebox by The Strokes made me go: 'hm, I think I want to update that story…_again_.' Link to that video on my profile. And onward we go!

**Chapter Three**: Could You Repeat That, Please?

There was pumpkin juice all down the front of the Remus' shirt. Sirius was using his tie to wipe off his face and laughing at the look James was sporting. Peter was, with all due respect, looking about as surprised as he would have if a girl had willingly asked him on a date. Nearly-Headless Nick chose this moment to intervene. "Hello there boys! How are my proud Gryffindors this lovely morning?"

"Peachy." James was staring at Sirius with the utmost of shock prevalent on his handsome features. "Don't even think about correcting me and saying that, on the contrary, we're pumpkiny, Padfoot." Sirius, who had, indeed, perked up at the opportunity to say such a word sunk back in his seat. "Now…could you repeat that, please?"

"Repeat what?" Sirius said, batting his eyelashes innocently. Master of the con of purity, acting as if he had no idea what his best mate was getting at. "If I could rewind time I'd love to go back just a minute or so and watch you spit out your juice all over us. Of course, I would dodge that time and therefore avoid having your saliva and regurgitated drink all over me. But, that's beside the point."

James cleared his throat and looked towards Remus. "Moony, you're less of an ass. Would you explain this situation to me? Because I _really _feel like I'm missing something here." Remus opened his mouth but looked at Sirius first who shrugged and smiled at him, pretending to the rest of the table that he wasn't putting his hand on Remus' knee. James raised his eyebrows. "Well?"

* * *

It had all started that morning and it had started off so naively that Remus almost forgot what had happened the night before. As usual he was the first to rise, more than an hour before breakfast began. The sun had barely even opened it's own eyes and he was already taking a shower and drying off. Embarrassed, though he shouldn't be, was how he felt when Sirius unexpectedly walked in just as he had put on his boxers.

"Well, doesn't someone look lovely this morning?" Sirius said this while standing in front of the mirror but Remus could see that he was glancing in his direction rather than into the reflective surface and they exchanged nervous smiles. Remus was extremely envious of Sirius' ability to wake up, look in the mirror, run a hand through his hair and then look overwhelmingly attractive. Remus had to work at the perceived notion that he woke up slightly cute.

After all, every girl he had ever had a relationship with, if you could call them that, had started off by telling him he was devastatingly adorable or something of the like, which he would smile at and they would simply 'melt' or so his friends told him. But Sirius was another force all together. Girls knew he wasn't looking for a relationship and somehow found that admirable. In their minds it must have been like a one night affair with the most striking young man in the school. Everyone got what they wanted and everyone was happy in the end.

"Surprisingly, I didn't get much beauty sleep last night," Remus said sarcastically, as he began to button his shirt. He was stopped when Sirius was suddenly behind him, slipping his arms around Remus' waist and kissing him on the neck. Remus saw his face grow red in the mirror and wasn't sure how to react.

"I'm not going to lie, Rem, we look pretty damn good together," Sirius whispered, raising his head to look at the two of them in the mirror. And Remus had to admit, they didn't look half bad at all. Yet, once again he only blushed at the remark and turned away from Sirius. Looking somewhat hurt Padfoot let go of him and stepped away, as Remus returned to buttoning up his shirt. "So last night was just a lie then?"

Remus met his gaze for a minute. He looked rather indifferent, like he didn't care either way, but his eyes gave away the fact that it would honestly hurt him if Remus answered with a yes. "No," Remus said turning away and keeping his eyes averted to the ground. "I'm just kind of…like what if James or Peter had walked in? I'm not exactly sure I want them to find out what's going on by walking in on us…you know."

"Oh, is little Moony scared of what his friends will think?" Sirius asked with a grin. Remus found himself blushing. It seemed like it was going to be one of those days where his face was perpetually red. Sirius sighed and lost his smile for a moment, and then leaned against the wall next to the mirror as Remus pulled his trousers on. "You really are, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, Pads, I am a bit, alright?" Remus said, turning to face him. He hadn't even buttoned his pants in his exasperation. "Look, Lily already knows or at least she knows about the agreement. And I'm honestly not too concerned with what the rest of the school thinks. But I'd kind of like to keep my best mates alright?" In a quieter voice, he added, "That includes you, you know? I don't want this to end up ruining _us_."

"Remus." Sirius said his name as a smile slowly was reborn on his face, "Remus, Remus, Remus." In a short span of time he had covered the few feet that had been in-between the two of them and now he reached out to lightly touch Remus' cheek which made the werewolf shudder, subtly yet noticeably. "I promise you, this is _not _going to ruin us."

Sirius leaned forward and gently kissed Remus on the lips, taking him completely by surprise. When Sirius moved away Remus attacked his lips with vigor and very soon his shirt was unbuttoned all over again. They had switched places and Remus was backed up against the mirror, his hands busy in Sirius' hair while Padfoot was enjoying the splendor of the lycanthrope's fit body.

Suddenly, outside of the bathroom they heard someone coughing. To Remus' amusement Sirius was the one to scramble quickly away and button the top few buttons of his own shirt. "Don't you dare say a word," he growled as Remus beamed at the hypocrisy that was blatantly being shown in front of him. "We're telling them at breakfast. No, no, _I'm _telling them at breakfast."

"Alright."

"No, I really am."

"I said alright, calm down love."

"Seriously, I'm – you just called me love…do that more."

* * *

Remus caught Lily in the common room. It would be more correct to say that Lily caught him. It wasn't a problem so much as it was inconvenient. She grabbed the arm of his robes and pulled him away from his mates and an awfully interesting story about how James and Sirius had used the Invisibility Cloak to sneak to a Muggle liquor store in the middle of night.

"Yes, Lily?" Remus asked, as dragged him near one of the windows that overlooked the Grounds. The majority of the Gryffindor House was either already down in the Great Hall or making their way down their. The Marauders were always fashionably late, but Lily was usually down there bright and early, already studying for various classes.

"I take it you've talked to Sirius by now? If not, I think you should really consider saying no, Remus. I was thinking about it and I don't want to intervene, but I'm almost certain he'll hurt you. Do what you want, but I'm just, let's say, guiding you in the right direction. As Merlin is to Arthur, I am to you." Lily looked proud with herself. She had obviously practiced this at some point. Several times, even.

With a sigh Remus replied, "First off, you're not the Merlin to my Arthur. Because in that case Sirius would be Excalibur and I'm not sure I want to get into all the double-innuendos that would boost his ego with. And, you'll be indifferent to hear, we're already dating. But, _no_, Lily, don't tell anyone." Lily's face had lit up with excitement and Remus was half scared she would run to congratulate Sirius in front of everyone and spoil the entire thing.

"No one?"

"No one, we're waiting to tell James and Peter at breakfast."

"Oh, Merlin be with you."

"You can sit by us if you really want to, Lily."

The Great Hall was, once again, abuzz with news about what had happened last night. Who had broken up, which included a couple that had been dating for the better part of their six years at Hogwarts and a pair who had hooked up over the summer. Both destined to fail. Who had hooked up, which was a large amount of the older population. Then, and this was different, who had gotten together which was, at this point, only one lovey-dovey duo who were embraced at the Ravenclaw table.

James was already confused. He and Sirius _always _sat next to each other and Remus _always _sat next to Peter, but today that was completely switched up. Lily kept elbowing Remus in the ribs and ignoring his whispered protests. "Well," Sirius said, in a voice that was clearly calmer than his normal tone, yet somehow more commanding. "Remus and I have some news."

"What, are you two dating?" James asked, laughing. His laughs subsided as he realized that only Peter was joining in and Remus and Sirius were looking at one another meaningfully. "You guys, seriously, tell me what the hell is going on right now." He sounded like he would love to hear news of Lily dating Snape at this point.

"Yeah, actually, we are." Why James took a large drink of pumpkin juice at this point in time was unknown to everyone involved. The spray range was impressive, however, managing to make its way across the table and spray over the food laid out for their morning meal. By the time Nearly-Headless Nick joined them a fair amount of people were staring at the scene that was obviously an interesting one. "Well?"

Remus looked at Sirius once more, who widened his eyes and tightened his grip on the werewolf's knee. "Erm, me and Sirius, I mean, er, Sirius and I…" Shit, why did he have to choose now to care about grammar? _Just spit it out Remus! Holy Hippogriffs, stop being such a pussy. _"Sirius and I are dating!" He instantly regretted saying this so loudly. It was almost yell and there was a sudden silence over their half of the table and then suddenly and rippling whisper began to move through the student body.

"Could you repeat that, please?" James said again. His voice was weak and he looked thoroughly shocked. Peter had been the only one to fully understand the words the first time he had heard them and looked as if he had no idea what to do. Lily patted Remus on the shoulder and gave him a kind smile, while Sirius just grinned and was ignorant to the murmurs surrounding them and the knowing looks that were being sent their way.

"We're dating," Sirius said in a light voice. He put his arm around Remus and cooed, "Isn't that right Moony?" Remus felt himself blush under the stunned stares of his friends. He could handle the rumors of other students that he barely knew, but he didn't want that same treatment from the people he considered himself closest to in the world. James had finally closed his mouth and seemed to be thinking. Peter was staring at them in a sense of awe, which was almost worse.

"That's right, Padfoot." Remus' reply came a bit late, but he received a graceful smile from his boyfriend and, goodness did that word make his heart flutter. For a moment the two smiled at one another, and Remus felt like things were going to be alright. But James still wasn't looking at them and Peter was, but it was like they were some sort of freak show. And then…

"Oh, fuck," Sirius muttered, looking across the Great Hall. His eyes were locked with someone else's and Remus followed his gaze to the Slytherin table where he found a raven-haired male staring at the couple with disgust. Regulus Black's stare was not the only one being directed at them, but it was the most piercing. Remus felt Sirius' arm tighten around his shoulders, but he couldn't help but wonder what the hell they were getting themselves into.

**A/N: **Well…at least Lily is okay with it, right? I have a feeling she would be the _most _tolerant of all their friends. That isn't to say James and Peter won't ever be fine with it. Or will they? Won't they? You know what I'm saying. This story is so fun to write. :D Review it even if you hate it.


	4. The Ship Is Sinking

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: I've taken the liberty of writing outlines for the this and the next chapter, which makes me want to write them both because, I'll admit it, I know what's going to happen and even _I _want to know how it's going to go in the way of words. But, I digress. On to what you're here for!  
**Disclaimer**: A girl can wish, can't she? Apparently not when it all belongs to Jo…

**Chapter Four**: The Ship Is Sinking

They left breakfast quickly after that. No one had tangibly followed them out, but plenty of people were watching their every move and disappointed to see them leave in such an unceremonious manner. Remus could almost hear them thinking 'why in the bloody hell haven't they _touched _yet?' in an infuriated mindset. Because, even he knew, everyone at breakfast that morning wasn't just hungry for food.

The first class of the day was Double Potions, and it started right after breakfast formally ended, granting them an hour break before lunch would start. Sirius had forgotten his book back in the dormitories and so they had returned back to retrieve it.

"Well I've got on a red and gold tie, thank you! These things burn Slytherin skin. Can't you just let me in, woman?" Sirius verbally abused the Fat Lady while he racked his brain for the password that had been given to them just the night before. He was yelling, although not in a quite angry tone, while brandishing his tie like it was a sword for the portrait to shrink back from in fear.

Tugging on the sleeve of Sirius' robes, Remus got the taller boy to lean down slightly so his ear was right next to his mouth. "It's sherbet lemon, Padfoot," Remus whispered, with a grin. He got an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek for this and blushed as the Fat Lady gave them a reproachful look.

"I apologize for shouting at you dear, erm, Lady. May I call you Lady?" The Fat Lady opened her mouth and looked ready to decline this offer in rude words, but had no chance to. "Anyway, would you know it? I've known the password all along. Sherbet lemon, as it were. You do so think of the best passwords. I've heard the Slytherin password has been pure-blood for just _years_."

The Fat Lady's portrait swung open, whilst she rolled her eyes, and the couple had rushed inside. Sirius found his book after a few moments of searching. Remus tried to tell him that there was a slim chance that his book had found it's way into Peter's trunk but Sirius only shook his head and distracted him with a quick kiss on the lips and they left through the portrait hole.

During their time in the dormitories the majority of students had left the Great Hall and were either roaming the halls or making their way to the first classes of the day. Now, Remus wanted to make his way down to the dungeons and get to class early, avoiding the stares of curious people and the whispers of devious ones. But Sirius insisted on taking a leisurely stroll through the halls with their hands clasped together, greeting people who couldn't meet their eyes and chasing down the people most uncomfortable with the situation and making small talk with them. It went generally like this when they caught someone:

"Well hello there! Haven't seen you since last year."

"I've never even talked to you."

"Right, well, I only said I hadn't _seen _you. Isn't that what I said, Rem, love?"

"Erm."

"Look, can you two poofters just leave me alone?"

"Merlin, it's not like we wanted to talk to you anyway. Isn't that right, Rem, love?"

"Erm."

It wasn't that he was as uncomfortable with it as the vast majority of his schoolmates. In fact, he probably would have been fine with the entire thing if everyone wasn't making him feel as if he was in a spotlight. It felt as if he was the star of an extremely awkward play and the majority of people in the audience were there to laugh at him, not with him.

Because, actually, there were a select few faces in the audience that acknowledged them in a positive way. A group of Ravenclaw girls waved at them with genuine smiles and several kind words from fellow Gryffindors. One young Hufflepuff girl, she looked to be a First Year, even approached them and called them cute with a blushing face before she ran away from the two who then broke out into laughter at the sheer unexpectedness of the event.

Remus could handle that if only there wasn't the other ninety percent of the school around them. It was much like a giant ocean all around them of gawking students who could talk of nothing else but the unlikely pair. Here and there was a recluse island of someone who didn't mind so much and, if they were lucky, supported them to a point. It was all too rare to find someone who felt that way, though, for Remus, and he found himself clinging to Sirius who seemed to bask in the attention, negative or not.

Potions class was, quite literally, a sea of opposition with only one island for safety. They shared this one class with the Slytherins who used the moment that the two entered to snigger at their expense. James and Peter were not yet in class, and Remus wasn't sure whether he should embrace this fact or wish that they were there. Lily, thank the stars, was their island for this class. Remus had to drag Sirius, who wanted to sit in the front of the class, to where Lily sat in the back.

"Well hello there, Evans. How are you this lovely morning?" Sirius' voice was loud and clear for the numerous people who were trying to listen in on their conversation. Said people shot glares at him. It was no fun to listen in when they weren't making any attempt at keeping their voices down.

Lily shot Remus a pitying look. As if to say: 'How _do _you put up with him?' Remus shrugged, meaning something along the lines of: 'I don't know, but he is quite entertaining sometimes.' Lily gave them both a smile and then, matching Sirius' tone replied to his greeting. "I'm doing well." At which point her eyes narrowed and she let her gaze drift towards the door of the classroom. "_Was _doing well, sorry."

Sirius and Remus, whose backs were to the door, turned around only to see James and Peter enter. Here was the real show, the climax of the first act of this play, where the spotlight turned from Remus and on to James who had his moment to shine. But he flaked under the pressure and, without so much of a glance to the people he called his best mates, hurried to the front of the class. Peter followed in his footsteps, but did warrant the three sitting together a wary smile. Perhaps there was some hope after all.

Class was, from that point, a long and grueling affair. Lily, Remus and Sirius barely had time to talk as Professor Slughorn gave them instructions on what they would be studying this year and how it would affect their futures in the Wizarding world. Sirius kept asking himself why he had taken this class again and Remus assured him it wouldn't be all that hard. His words were killed when they were, on the first day of school, assigned an essay on Everlasting Elixirs.

"As if I didn't have enough to worry about. First I have to remember a password and now I have to write an essay one of these uselessly alliterated potions?" Sirius was either acting or was actually unmindful of the feelings of his fellow classmates towards the way in which he displayed his affections, which included a kiss on the cheek whenever Remus did something that was helpful, no matter what it was.

"You can borrow my quill. No, it – it starts with an _E _Sirius, an E. Well, I suppose if it blew up you would get expelled. It doesn't really matter if it turns pink or orange, either way you get a raw deal in the end. Your book is right there, in front of you, love." Sometimes Remus felt that Sirius was making things up just so he had an excuse to shock everyone with yet another display of affection. And once again, he wouldn't have minded very much if the mass of the audience wasn't squirming because of these displays.

All the while Lily was watching them with a look Remus couldn't quite read. He knew she approved of the nature of their relationship. The redhead had no problem with the fact that they were both male, but he also knew that she didn't think Sirius was right for him. She took care to make sure that this opinion did not show on her face as she observed them, and so that her voice was indifferent to the situation.

"So you're alright with us, right Lily? It doesn't bother you that Rem and I are dating?" Sirius voiced this question a few minutes before class was set to end, as most students were getting antsy and had already shut their books.

Lily's eyes flickered between the two and then she smiled calmly. "If what you're asking is whether or not I mind the fact that it's _you _and Remus dating, I'm not going to answer that. But, no, it does not bother me that you two are gay or whatever you are." Her look faltered and she looked at Sirius in a rather questionable way. Before Sirius could respond to these remarks Professor Slughorn dismissed them for the day and they were left to their own devices, Lily having shot out of the classroom the minute their instructor had spoken.

* * *

Now it felt as if he was drowning in the ocean. He wanted to punch Sirius for being so flamboyant about the affair. His attitude about the entire thing was just making everyone dislike them even more. Because what Sirius was saying had to be what Remus was thinking, seemed to be what most everyone rationalized about the pair even though that line of thinking was completely untrue.

It was that gossip though, that had hunted Remus down. Found him with Sirius' arm around him, a shield between him and the words that hit like bullets. Sirius was bullet-proof after all, a shield made of smiles and laughter. But the gossip had found an uncovered part of the werewolf and hit him squarely in the back, pushing him deep into the ocean and away from Sirius.

The gossip was personified by none other than Regulus Black, who had pulled Sirius away abruptly as they had been headed to the Great Hall for lunch after wandering around for the better part of an hour. Sirius had promised he would be right there and advised his boyfriend to go to lunch as if it was a simple thing to walk into a huge room when all eyes were on you.

The ocean was in full storm mode, bashing Remus about but never looking at him. They avoided him and ran into him as if he wasn't there. He found a few islands but none that he fancied staying near for any amount of time. He saw James, atypically on his own, and their eyes met for a moment and it appeared that his mate might say something at this point, but Prongs ran away from the chance to exchange words with Moony and very soon the halls were empty and both Remus and Sirius were conspicuously absent from the midday meal.

"What ever are you doing in the halls at this time of day, my good sir?" The voice of Nearly-Headless Nick was brash and inquisitive, yet in a friendly way that Remus was almost relieved to hear. At this time he was wandering around aimlessly and had found himself heading for the library, a haven if there ever was one. He figured that if he couldn't hide among people, perhaps he could fall into a book and escape their stares for a short while.

"I just don't feel like eating much, Nick, but thanks for asking." Remus offered the ghost a tight smile and words that he thought were sure to be the end of the conversation. They were quite a pair, a dead man and a werewolf. All they needed was a few house elves and a vampire or two and they could have a club rivaled by no other.

"Ah, and this wouldn't have anything to do with your boyfriend, now would it?" Remus opened his mouth, aghast at this statement. Since when did Nick know a think about his love life? "Sorry, but it's all I've had the misfortune to hear being talked about by every person that goes to this fine place of learning all day. And I thought to myself, goodness, these children cannot keep their thoughts to themselves, can they? I began to wonder, I did, who exactly they were talking about at which point I remembered the ruckus at the Gryffindor table this morning which I connected with my rather awkward intervening on a seemingly private matter. Putting two and two together, or rather one and one, I realized what was going on."

Remus was simply speechless, as Nick so obviously was not on the matter. It only figured that Nick would know what was going on. He probably knew better than anyone in the school what was going on. All the ghosts probably knew more of the students business than anyone else could even begin to imagine because no one took much notice when they were in the room. Remus could almost imagine them staying up all night and exchanging stories about who was doing what. Gossip wasn't even killed when the body was.

"Well, perhaps it does have a bit to do with Sirius," Remus admitted. He then went on to tell Nick about what was going on. Every once and a while the ghost would bob his head off of his shoulders and simply replace it as he listened to the boy talk. "Basically, I want this to work. I really do like Sirius, more than a friend, that is. But I'd like to survive the process just as much as I'd like this to work."

"Oh, let me tell you, I know of the qualms of love," Nick said in a remorseful voice. "Why I remember, in my nineteenth year, just a bit older than you, I met a beautiful young woman by the name of Catherine. Well, she was betrothed to a man of high status, something I, unfortunately, was not. But we met and, as such things go, status did not matter once we saw one another. Yet, only a few months later she was married and I never did see her again. Oh, there is a point to this." He said this to Remus' somewhat questioning stare as to how this applied to him. "Love knows no boundaries, my dear boy, and I can fully understand that. It may take a bit of getting used to for me, but I can certainly imagine stranger people coming together."

Remus would later tell this to Sirius, who would smile and laugh. They both found it somewhat ironic that the first adult to approach them on the circumstances with an offering support had come from Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington, a man who had died in the fifteenth century. Then again, by this point, they were both looking for support wherever they could, even if the other didn't recognize this fact.

**A/N**: If you can't tell, I have rather fond feelings for Nick. He really is a dear and I think a few hundred years is enough to build up some toleration of the different forms of love, don't you? And it's fun to write out his long eloquent thoughts on the matter. So there he is. As for James, my goodness he's being stubborn, isn't he? We'll see what's up with him the next chapter, I believe. Review even if you hate it and thank you to everyone who has reviewed thus far.


	5. A Wolf To Stag Talk

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: This chapter is like…goodness. Just…goodness. I'm not sure what I mean by that. Be warned that I wrote this while listening to The Beatles and it might be influenced by…Hey Jude. o: Except not really, so calm down.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't you kind of _wish _Jo was writing this and at the end she would just pop up and be like 'yeah, this is what happened!' Not going to happen, sadly.

**Chapter Five**: A Wolf To Stag Talk

Over the next few days the most peculiar thing began to happen. It wasn't that more people began to accept them as a legitimate couple or that James miraculously had some explanation for his behavior. How would that go? 'Oh, no! Oh! You guys thought I was…? No, no! You see, I've only just found out I'm not a wizard at all actually. Turns out I'm a witch. And, well, as those monthly cycles go, much like Moony here, I get a bit moody every month and, well, there you have it." An outstanding alternative to what was really going on, but that was not what changed as the school days wore on.

Sirius Black actually became unenthusiastic for the first time in his career of living at Hogwarts. The certain manner that Sirius usually was surrounded by was gone. It wasn't disappointing just to the Animagus but also to the werewolf as well who found this to be the most attractive thing that Sirius had going for him. When that was lost he was nothing more than an – extremely eye-catching, admittedly – empty shell of who he usually was and it wasn't nearly as fun to walk through the halls when Sirius wasn't playing it up or even to just talk to him.

Yesterday Remus had been alerted as to what exactly had stolen all of Sirius' non-seriousness and had beaten himself up for not noticing it. He supposed it was somewhat Sirius' fault for putting up an act of not caring whenever James was – or rather, wasn't – around. Yet it was so obvious that Lily had even noticed it. "No shit, Sherlock," she had hissed when he had revealed his revelation to her in the hurried atmosphere of the Gryffindor common room Thursday night. "Even I knew that. Question is, what are _you _going to do about it?"

"Me? What do you mean what am _I _going to do about it?" Remus had asked in a somewhat louder voice than he intended. "I'm not the one sulking in the corner because someone else, who, need I remind you, I am also not, is being a complete git to the people that he's sworn to stick with through everything. I didn't tear them apart. They're the criminals and I'm, at most, an accomplice." Lily had given him a do-what-you-want look and Remus had kicked the wall for good measure. This entire situation was messing everything up. "Fine then, I guess it's up to me to fix this nice little mess we're in here now. I hope everyone's happy that Remus Lupin is to the rescue!"

* * *

Those words had been spoken in a burst of anger that was gone now on this Friday afternoon. They had finished Defense Against the Dark Arts about five minutes ago and now had about two hours until they were to go to the Great Hall for dinner. For the past five minutes since they had left the classroom and then the castle to emerge onto the Grounds they had not spoken once. They had gotten as far as looking at one another and nodding for no apparent reason with forced smiles on their faces.

Ten minutes later their conversation had gone as far as:

"So this is…"

"Yeah, just – just a bit."

"Sirius doesn't know we're talking? Or…is this all his idea?"

"No, uh, culture shock, I know, James, but I thought of this one on my own."

Then they fell into a completely awkward silence and Remus began to rue this idea. It had all been Lily's idea really. Maybe she had never said to actually talk to James, but she had implied that it was the right thing to do, so she was at fault here. With a deep sigh, Remus pushed all blame aside and realized that this was his choice to be talking with his mate and he was going to have to deal with it whether he wanted to or not.

"Look, James, I know – hold on, I don't know what's going on in your head. Seriously, I'm not going to try and understand that because it's not my place to. We aren't close as you and Sirius are and I don't think we ever will be and I don't expect that. Which is why I really think–" Remus went into a frenzied speech without looking at his friend until James interrupted him.

"I really, really wish you didn't jump to the conclusion that I'd rather talk to Padfoot about all this," he said in a rather melancholy voice that Remus was taken aback by. "The whole thing is…I'm okay with it. If you guys want to do this then it's none of my business. You're my best mates and I'm not going to be a prick about it. But really, Rem, don't you think I could have gotten some sort of warning? A – a post in the mail perhaps? Pass a note to me in class? 'We're thinking about dating; just letting you know, have a nice day.' That would have been nice."

"Right. Well, the funny thing is, you know, this was kind of a rash decision between the both of us. No, that's not completely true…we've actually sort of had this going since the end of last year." But here Remus knew he was getting ahead of himself because he had made a major stumble in words and made it seem like the entire thing was even worse than James had previously thought.

"Last year?" His eyes were wide with surprise. "Look, I know I took a few weeks to tell you that I like Lily, Moony, but if this is payback for that, well, for one it's long overdue and secondly, how many months has this been going on? Is that why Sirius looked tired all the time? Oh, Merlin!"

"No, no, no." Goodness that word had been lovely to him lately, two letters that made up one word that was purely divine. Use it in succession when you were worried and add in a few dramatic hand flairs of denial and you had a match made in heaven. "See, last year, when we were drunk one night…Sirius and I made a rather alcohol-influenced agreement." Remus then reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out the worn piece of parchment and handed it to James who tentatively took it, showing only a small degree of interest that the look in his eyes easily betrayed.

"You must have been _really _fucking plastered," James said, parchment still in hand, but eyes on Remus now. "I can see Sirius doing something like this, but there is no way in hell I can see you signing this sober. The only thing I can't figure out is how we get from A" – holding up the parchment – "to, well, B." Here he nodded at Remus and made a kissy face which Remus blushed at and then reached out and grabbed the deal from the stag's hands.

"We got from A to B the same way anyone does," Remus lied, and James knew it. "Alright, fine. We talked about it and agreed that – well we…sort of. He left it up to me and I just figured, you know, why the hell not? Have to start somewhere don't I?" Why he thought that he could play this off as some sort of learning experience was beyond even himself.

"I think we both know that you don't really mean that, Rem. And if you do then, pardon my French, but holy shit you're a fucking ass. And, once again, we both know you're not. So here's the deal, alright?" James raised his eyebrows and Remus shrugged sheepishly as if that might fix things. "You tell me exactly how you feel about Sirius and then I'll be alright with this. I have no problem with you two being – you two together, but I have a huge problem with the fact that I don't know a thing about your relationship."

"I can agree to that. But admit that you never really gave us a chance to explain this."

"Hell no,"

"Prongs."

"Fine, maybe I kind of wasn't exactly wonderful at giving you two a – ah, hell, can't you just accept that as the closest I'm going to get to apologizing for this."

"You speak the truth." There was a sigh on the lycanthrope's part at this point. The sky was much too bright and blissful for this conversation. They were walking past the edge of the Forbidden Forest by this point, both figuratively and literally. Pretty soon they would be near the lake and treading on thin ice. Damn, that line of reasoning would work so much better if it was winter. "So, what do you want to know exactly?"

"You said that Sirius left it up to you, right? You're the one who agreed to let this whole thing go on when you could have just put it behind you. Besides that, I can see the way you two are with one another. Just tell me how you feel about him, Rem. It would probably be easier to pretend you're not talking to me. That's how I told you guys about Lily." The fact that James was taking this so well was comforting to Remus and he shrugged as the next words fell out of his mouth.

"I don't know, you know? It doesn't really make sense to me. I never really – not one of my best mates, at least. But last year I started to feel like maybe there was something." This was the hardest part of it, admitting it didn't really start with that drunken night. "But I figured it was just something weird that would go away, but it _didn't _which was the worst part because I was – am – around him all the time. And then when _that _happened, well, I barely remembered it until the first day back here when we were on the train and it just came back to me. When Sirius let me choose, I don't know, James, I just felt like it was a chance, I guess, to see if this would work."

"So you've liked him for a while now?" Remus stopped walking when James said these words and simply nodded, looking away and waiting for whatever James had to say. "Established feelings, I like that, it reminds me of myself which is a very admirable trait indeed. Too bad _yours _are actually requited." Remus was finally able to smile at the grimace that passed over his mate's face.

"Get her drunk and see what happens?" he offered with an innocent smile. This only managed to get him pulled into a one-armed hug that was more of a chokehold than anything. It served one more purpose though, setting everything right between him and James. For a few enjoyable minutes they were able to walk in a peaceful way back towards the castle, talking about unimportant things. Once they were almost to the courtyard though, Remus stopped their walk to bring up one more issue. "So when will you be talking to Padfoot then?"

"Well I was hoping, maybe that you – no? I'm wrong on that one? Alright, alright, Moony, you know I _hate _when you give me that look. I'll talk to him." James put up a slight fight at the idea for whatever reason. "Sirius is just – he'll be angry at me. You, Rem, you'll listen to me even if you're upset, but Padfoot will just, well, he won't shut up about how I've been avoiding you guys and it's going to be hard to get over that but, I have to deal with it."

"There you go, that's the kind of attitude we need, James," Remus said happily, garnering an annoyed look from his friend. They exchanged smiles and continued on into the courtyard only to be greeted by a sudden and shocking sight. There was a fight going on already, this only being the first week of school. Not uncommon, but whatever was going on was enough to get the attention of nearly all of the upperclassmen.

"Oi! That's right, Reg, call me a poofter one more time! One more fucking time, I dare you, Reg!" James and Remus looked at one another in an exasperated, yet not quite surprised, way and began to make their way through the crowd of people that was gathering around the fight that was either going on or just about to start. When they were near the center Sirius and Regulus came into view, and it also became obvious that they were in the _middle _of the fight rather than just exchanging word, although that was all they were doing right now.

"You're a fucking _faggot _then, Sirius."

"Shut your mouth right now, right fucking now, Regulus, or…or…"

"What, you're going to unleash your boyfriend on me? Really scary."

"I would seriously consider not opening your filthy mouth one more time."

"I would seriously consider not dating someone who is the same gender as you, you fucking fag."

Here was where the words stopped. Sirius already had his clothes messed up and tie undone, while Regulus looked impeccable besides a few misplaced hairs and the starting of a bruise near his collarbone. But once Sirius lunged at him his white shirt was stained with red droplets of blood. "Holy fucking! My nose is! Merlin, Sirius, what the fuck is wrong with you!"

"Well if it isn't Mr. Black and Mr. Black." Professor McGonagall's voice cleared the area of the bulk of students in a timely manner and the only people left once she had made her way to the scene of the fight were the two stars along with Remus and James. Their teacher was looking at them in the most reproachful way as she stood before them. "May I ask what happened here?"

"Excuse me, professor, but may I point out that my nose is bleeding like there is no bloody tomorrow, today or yesterday?" Regulus interrupted. He was right, in a sense. His voice was gargled and the sleeve of his shirt was stained with blood as he held it up to his nose. His normally pale face was ghost white and he was swaying like he was on a ship, about to fall overboard into the water and then he did, only instead of waves he fell down to the hard surface of concrete.

"Would you look at that?" Sirius marveled. "A Slytherin supporting Gryffindor colors! I never thought I would see the day."

**A/N**: Yes, it's a bit short. But I think a lot happened. The next chapter is going to be, how should I say, a lot more...exciting? ;D Read that in-between the lines however you would like to. Believe it or not this stupid chapter took me the better part of a Beatles CD and Chris Rock HBO special to write. Okay, fine, it's not a stupid chapter, I'm sure we're all glad to have our Jamesie on the puppy's side, aren't we? :D Review it even if you hate it.


	6. Moody Moony

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: Our poor puppies just _cannot _get any slack. I mean, not only are they getting in trouble the first week of school, but it's almost the full moon already. Will I ever be less harsh on them? Not until the world is less harsh on people like them. :D  
**Disclaimer**: No ownership and more things you already knew.

**Chapter Six**: Moody Moony

Sirius had received a few things. Detention every night for a week was one of them. Then there was the most conflicted look from Professor McGonagall. Her face had scrunched up with the undeniable want to show a smile but this merged with her requirement, as a teacher, to look thoroughly disappointed in one of her students. Finally, he received a round of applause at dinner, which he responded to by standing up and taking a bow, while also receiving glares from the Slytherin table.

News had spread fast from the older students about what had happened in the courtyard and before long even the first years knew who Sirius Black was and that he had beat up his own brother. At first several of the kids who didn't know any better seemed to think _James _was his brother and were shocked to see the two laughing together at the Gryffindor table. This misconception only came into being because of Regulus' absence from the Great Hall that night.

Regulus Black had been hurried to the hospital wing without much hurry at all. Remus had the strange suspicion that Professor McGonagall had sent him to Professor Slughorn's classroom on purpose, because she had known that as he was the most soft spoken of the three it would take him longer to get the potion master's attention, which, Remus thought now, really made no sense. Shouldn't they have taken Regulus to the hospital wing _before _alerting the head of his House?

* * *

The classroom had been in turmoil as soon as he had entered. Professor Slughorn had the misfortune to have a fresh batch of third years that afternoon who all seemed impervious to the suggestions made by their teacher. "No, Terry! I know the effects of the Confusing Concoction make it tempting to use on a fellow classmate but I'm not going to let you risk your already shaky potions reputation with this one."

"Erm, Professor Slughorn?"

"Hello Mister Lupin. Merlin, Lewis! Two drops of peppermint, only two! How many did you add into this? Well, yes, it matters, because it will throw off the entire potion, my dear! Miss Benson will you _please _help Miss Lewis with her control of peppermint use instead of spending all this time passing secret notes with Mister Malcolm, hm? Now, what did you want my dear boy?"

"Well, it's Regulus Black, professor. He's been-"

"Mister Malcolm watch _out _for the asphodel! I don't want to have to use it on you. Sorry, Lupin, what about Regulus?"

"Well Professor McGonagall sent me. He's been in a, er, in a fight with Sirius and, I don't know why, but she sent me so that you could – well, I guess know what was going on and handle the situation?"

By this time Mister Malcolm had knocked over the jar full of asphodel while throwing a note across the room to Miss Benson who was neglecting her duties which allowed for Miss Lewis' potion to start spewing turquoise sparks along with steam out of the cauldron it was stewing in. Professor Slughorn looked frazzled at the idea of leaving the classroom. "Hey, you're a bright lad, Lupin! Would you mind watching them while I go to – where, exactly?"

"Watch…your…class?" Remus surveyed the mayhem that was going on around the classroom. Several students were cleaning up the asphodel, but most of them were ignoring the dilemma and taking advantage of their teacher's distraction and talking amongst one another. Slughorn was looking at him rather expectantly. "Right, well, they should be in the courtyard. Erm…is there anything I should do to make sure they don't get into any trouble or blow anything up?" He was nervously wringing his hands now at the prospect of watching over a class of thirteen year olds.

"They're all great kids, really, shouldn't be a problem for you, eh, Lupin?" He got a pat on the back that was more like a slap and then the professor was gone and he was left with a group of disinterested students who were rapidly loosing interest in what was in their cauldrons and gaining awareness of their hormones. They were Slytherins and Gryffindors, reminding Remus much of his earlier years and even somewhat of his classes now.

A few of them gave him curious looks and then would whisper to their friends. Remus walked to the front of the classroom and stood there for a few minutes before he was interrupted by one of the Slytherin students. "Aren't you that faggy sixth year who's dating Regulus' brother?" the boy said in a rather stuck-up voice that did not match his looks. Freckles adorned the kid's face along with a malicious sneer all with a backdrop of intensely pale skin. Remus knew of Bartemius Crouch Jr. by reputation only. Reputation of being a wealthy elitist who was constantly talking of his father's doings at the Ministry.

Reputation of being disliked by the majority of the students at the school. The class got quiet as Barty – as he was so _affectionately _called – spoke these words in a condescending voice, his eyebrows raised. "Aren't you supposed to be doing your work, Crouch?" Remus replied, ignoring the question and feeling ashamed for doing so. Why couldn't he just answer and not care what people thought? Especially a bunch of third years.

"I'm already done with my potion," Barty replied with a scowl. "Just because the rest of my class is an incompetent mess doesn't mean that I follow suit." A few students in the back were muttering something, but Barty ignored them and restated his question. "Are you or aren't you dating Regulus' brother?"

"Yes I am but I _hardly _see what that has to do with your lesson for today so how about you focus on what's in your book, alright, Crouch?" Remus said in an amiable voice, somehow even managing a tight smile but not looking directly at anyone as he spoke.

"What are we talking about here?" He was saved by the unknowing Slughorn returning promptly to his class. Everyone immediately resumed their work as if they hadn't been taking a break and the professor barely even seemed to notice, focusing on the obvious tension between Remus and Barty Jr. "Lupin, you can leave now. Crouch, what are you doing away from your cauldron?"

Remus left quickly, feeling eyes on his back as he abandoned the room for the dungeons and then hurried up the stairs. Once he was out of the dark and damp area below the school he breathed a sigh of relief, only to find himself once more a spectacle. He was getting rather sick of everyone staring and pointing and talking about him. When, if ever, would the novelty wear off?

* * *

The events that had happened while Regulus was being taken to the hospital wing were only known by a select number of third years, Remus and Barty Crouch Jr., but Remus was only waiting for the moment that everyone knew about the conversation that had been held. Over the next few days his friends poked fun at him.

"Why so pale Moony? I know it's the full moon tomorrow, but you don't normally get this anxious." They sat in the common room late Monday night, Remus the only one actually getting any word done. James was looking at him, amused by the situation. "Worried everyone's going to find out about your furry little problem?"

This warranted a glare from the werewolf which only got James laughing. "It's nothing, Prongs," Remus replied with a sigh, trying to return his thoughts to the essay on the Draught of Living Death. He was barely able to concentrate on the words he was writing, though, as Sirius, who was sitting next to him, kept finding various ways to fall asleep against his shoulder, waking up and then moving a bit, only to fall asleep again. It was slightly irritating at the same time as it was extremely cute.

"I'm sure it's nothing, Rem," James said, giving Remus a look that told him that James wasn't believing his flimsy excuse. Remus shrugged and returned to his essay which, he knew, would be clamored for the next morning at breakfast. His friends wouldn't do their own work once again and then try to copy his down in their own words, resulting in a mess of Remus' own conscience that knew cheating was wrong but cared about keeping his friends much more than right or wrong.

"Look, d'you think that maybe Sirius is treating this as some sort of game more than an actual relationship?" Remus asked suddenly, dropping his quill down onto the parchment in front of him and looking James squarely in the eye. "I want an honest answer on this, James. Because, and you know me, I'm not fooling around here. If that's all it is then I don't want to go through with this anymore."

James shook his head steadily and Remus, at first, took this as the answer to his question until James opened his mouth. "Don't ask me about that, Moony. I am _not _getting involved with that because I frankly have no idea what Sirius' intentions are with this." Here he granted their sleeping friend a genuine look of mercy. "I will say this, you know him just as I do, Remus, and that means we both know that…well, with Sirius sometimes everything is a big act and he's good at playing certain parts. He's done it before and I'm hoping he's not doing it now, but I won't discredit the idea."

There was a short moment of silence during which they both looked at Sirius, thinking about what was going on and whether they could completely trust their mate in his feelings. "Lily told me not to," Remus said, quietly, turning to look towards the fire. They all sat on the floor in front of the fireplace's dying embers. "I'm starting to think that maybe I should have listened to her."

* * *

Tuesday morning brought a fresh perspective on old events as Regulus was released from the hospital wing and consequently unleashed into the sea of gossip that as flourishing at breakfast. He had a bandage over his nose and a crowd of Slytherin fans surrounding him as he, no doubt, retold the horrific Cain and Abelesque details of his battle with his brother. Nastier than usual looks from green and silver-clad students confirmed these suspicions.

Sirius responded to such actions in a very showmanship like way. As Regulus made a show of pointing across the Great Hall towards his older brother, causing several of his friends to glare at the couple, Sirius made a show of firmly pulling Remus' face towards his own and entrapping the werewolf into a rather intense kiss. For a moment Remus felt his heart stop and every noise around them melted away. The kiss felt, ultimately, right, but when they separated he watched Sirius let go of him and look triumphantly across the hall to where his brother looked disgusted. James tried to catch Remus' eyes but the werewolf swiftly ignored this and stared down at his plate feeling outright _used_.

These feelings only increased as they left the Great Hall and Sirius grabbed his hand. Only because Sirius was no longer talking to Remus or smiling at him, but instead looking for his brother for the simple reason to _bother _Regulus, with no attempt to pay any attention to Remus himself. And when Remus tore his hand away and mumbled something about going to the library before class he knew that the only reason Sirius came along was because of the chance that they would be seen by his brother or someone affiliated with his brother along the way.

As it just so happened, they were met by Barty Crouch in the library who didn't say a word but smirked at Remus with a sort of cruelty that Remus certainly hoped most thirteen year-olds were not apt to. The first class of the day as their only one as they had the afternoon off that day. Remus spent the class talking to Lily and ignoring, for the most part, his boyfriend's insistence that they sit next to each other.

"Can I just what in the hell is going on with you today Remus?" After Potions class had ended Sirius pulled the lycanthrope aside with an angry look on his face. "I've been nothing but perfectly good to you all day and you're practically blowing me off. Not literally of course, but we'll talk about that later." A smile graced his face at these words which only managed to annoy Remus further.

"That's exactly the problem!" Remus cried in an exasperated voice, walking away from a confused Sirius. The dungeons were empty now as most people were heading to the Grounds or back to their common room. "I think you need to think about this for a little longer and figure this out. I have to go but…I don't know Padfoot. I'll talk to you later, alright?"

Sirius was left to stand in the darkened dungeons, thoroughly mystified by Remus' actions and having no idea what he was supposed to be thinking about.

* * *

"I told you what you were getting into when this all started, Rem. I told you. And you knew it as well; you know better than me what kind of a person he is. This was never going to end well." Lily Evans was on a sort of rant as she and Remus walked around the Grounds an hour before dinner. The two had been together since Remus and Sirius had parted, skipping lunch together and favoring the outdoors and peace rather than the commotion of the common room.

"Exactly, Lily. Because everyone sees Sirius as some bad guy who's going to hurt me in the end. Maybe he will, alright? But for right now, that's not what I'm concerned with." They stopped at the bank of the lake and sat down, staring out at the calm waters. "The fact is, it felt real at first. I actually believed that it meant something to Sirius, but now with Regulus being involved it's like some sort of Black family publicity stunt that's being played out for the pleasure of an audience."

"That's probably all it his to him," Lily offered shaking her head. "You should have listened to me, Remus. I _knew _that things would end up like this. Honestly, I saw this coming the minute you two got together." Her voice sounded so self-assured and convicted, she was almost talking down to Remus here. Saying that he could have avoided all of this had he only listened to her.

"No, Lily, I don't think you get what I'm saying here." She opened her mouth; he shook his head "You really don't. You were wrong, Lily, alright? Sirius isn't hurting me right now, he's hurting himself. I'm not going to let this bother me, because I'm done with him and this stupid game he's playing. I'm just done with it." Maybe it was all lies, but it sure as hell felt good to say out loud.

* * *

Transformation nights never remained as clear memories in Remus' mind. After all was said and done the only memories that he had were the scars that he afflicted himself with and the fact that he woke up in the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey keeping a watchful eye on him. Depending on what time of day he woke up there would sometimes be one or two of his friends sitting at his bedside.

On the Wednesday that he woke up he discovered Sirius Black along with two plates of food next to him. "I've been thinking," Sirius said, handing him one plate of food, "and I think I'm on to something," Remus sat up in the hospital bed and accepted the food, his arms wavering slightly as he revealed to himself a long scratch along his forearm. Sirius continued with no incentive but the sound of his own voice to do so. "You are mad because you think this is all just some sort of joke, don't you?"

"More or less." Remus shoveled several helpings of potatoes into his mouth and didn't move his eyes from the array of foods that were available to him. "So when did you go to talk to Lily about this?" Sirius groaned. "Really, Padfoot, you don't expect me to think you're _that _in tune with me? Just tell me, how long did it take you to figure that I talked to her? Did you just get this information five minutes ago? Ten?"

"Oh, oh alright, Rem. Would it kill you to cut me some fucking slack? You act like I should be able to handle this _so _much easier than you." Sirius' voice was escalating into a yell. Remus regretted his words now as he watched Sirius get angry at the remarks he had made. For a sudden desperate moment he wanted to grab onto his raven-haired mate and apologize, but he didn't. "I'm having just as hard of a time as you are, if not more. Maybe this is the problem, you know? We don't talk about things and so here we are, yelling about them!"

"Excuse me, but I'm not the one yelling." Even though Remus was yelling now. "I'm also not the one who is treating this like some sort of game where my brother is the enemy and the point is to use my boyfriend to get people's attention. As far as I know I'm also not the one who manages to be a complete ass to everyone yet somehow keep all of my friends in the process."

"Not one word of that is true!" Sirius' voice was now an angry hiss and his brow was furrowed as if he was thinking about what Remus had said, but not fully understanding it. "I'm not the one who uses his damn lycanthropy as a crutch for why he's so _fucking _pitiful, now am I? No, because if I was in said person's condition I would stop whining about the goddamned full moon and deal with it. And, you know what, Remus?"

"What, Sirius? What else could you possibly have to say?" Remus hated to admit it but his voice was breaking now and he was near tears as he realized that Sirius as right. To some extent Remus used his status as a werewolf as a figurative crutch, limping around on the idea that this would forever impair him. Sirius' voice did not falter once as he spoke.

"I knew this wasn't going to work from the beginning. Because you're so damn moody, Moony. I can see why this didn't come up until we were drunk. There's no way I would _ever _consider dating your pathetic ass if I wasn't plastered beyond belief." Remus felt the tears fall swiftly down his cheeks and his mouth fall open at the statements that Sirius made.

"Mister Black! What are you doing to my patient?" Madam Pomfrey's shocked voice came from the double doors of the hospital wing.

"Nothing," Sirius replied, not looking at Remus as he gathered up the plates he had brought with him. "I have nothing to do with him." With that he walked away and pushed through the doors, leaving Remus to the sympathetic look of Madam Pomfrey. A look that he didn't deserve, because Sirius was right. This thought was the one that kept Remus up all night, turning over and over again, wondering if he would ever deserve anything worth having.

**A/N**: Not what you were expecting more than likely. I lead people on so easily. I was watching a Lifetime movie, give me some slack. Besides, making up is always the best part of an argument. Am I right or am I right? And by the gods was it hard to figure out Barty Jr.'s age. I'm _almost _sure I got it right, he should be thirteen about this time and in third year if I'm assuming his birthday is before September, which I am, but it's all really confusing, I got a headache thinking about it. Review even if you hate it.


	7. Better Luck Next Time

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: You should expect some mature themes in this chapter or something misleading like that. ;D Beware, I was watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (my husband) while I wrote this. Crazy stuff, I know.  
**Disclaimer**: No ownership and more things you already knew.

**Chapter Seven**: Better Luck Next Time

"Really, James, really? Because, you see, I had always thought Sirius was the one with the flair for dramatics. In my mind I had always fancied him as the star of this dreadful little play we're in." Remus would like to think, later, that he hadn't meant any negative words that he spoke on Sirius' part. One of those 'well, I _was _angry' sort of moments. The truth was that those sorts of moments are figments of an overactive mind and never happen in one's lifetime. Say what you mean and mean what you say is how it goes, after all.

"I'm not saying you were the one to start all this, but I was there after all." Curse it! Curse that stupid waste of an item – that damn Invisibility Cloak. "You two were going at it like an old married couple who had never washed their dirty mouths. Better yet, you two were having a row like me and Evans do. That was pretty much the gist of what _I _saw, but I did leave after the, uh, interruption of Madam Pomfrey."

"That was pretty much it, James. Yeah, only a few minutes of having Sirius barrage me with insults and tell me I whine all the time. I suppose he's right, I mean, gosh, how dare I complain about such a silly thing as a full moon, right?" A few odd looks from across the hallway, a pointed warning look from James. "Not when _he _has the all important issue of whether people are looking at him or not to worry about."

"True, true, we all do worry about that from time to time." They were almost down to the third floor where they were heading to their Charms class that morning. Remus had been released from the hospital wing just before breakfast earlier that day and used that time to do nothing of importance, hiding in the library until he was surprised by James who had brought him an apple to eat and a friendly face to smile at. Remus had refused the apple and James was still working on the one piece of fruit as he talked to the other. "Now here's the real problem." Juice from his apple was dripping onto the collar of his white shirt. "Shall the two lovely couples sit together or shall we be split up?"

The messy-haired boy was using the term 'couples' so loosely that it could be compared to the state of his tie, which was, as of yet, completely undone, though it was doubtful it had been done at all that day. He referred to Remus and Sirius as well as himself and Lily. The 'couples' were far from lovely together and Remus pointed this out as they entered the classroom. They were nearly late, the classroom was full and Remus got the best available seat in the house – the one next to Severus Snape and James was left to sit next to Sirius.

Severus gave Remus a look of unadulterated confusion, which Remus didn't even try to rival, smiling back tiredly and then sinking down in his seat. Luckily the day's class was focused mainly on reading about the Aguamenti spell and then writing a short paper on its many uses, which Remus' wandering mind was having trouble putting into words. So far he had written:

_Fire. It puts it out and all that._

After those words had been written down so eloquently on his parchment Remus fell over his desk and just lay there for a few moments thinking, for a second, that he might get away with it. Severus seemed to be scooting away from him, as Remus was carelessly letting his arms drape over the desk wherever they may.

"Mister Lupin, could you please sit up?" Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice intruded into Remus' void mind and he sat up suddenly, getting the look he always got from teachers when he did something wrong. The look said simply said: I would expect this from James or Sirius, maybe even Peter, but _you _Remus? The look that Remus always replied to with an annoyed sigh.

An awkward moment occurred when a piece of parchment hit Severus in the back of his oily head. Remus turned around and found himself looking at Sirius who, besides looking like he needed a good shower, Remus mused, also had his eyebrows raised and then nodded. The parchment was for Remus, Padfoot had just been having a bit of fun while sending it. There were a few squirming moments as Remus leaned out of his chair slightly until he caught the parchment in-between his index and middle fingers, then slipped back into his seat, hair tousled and several pairs of eyes curiously on him.

_Astronomy Tower tonight, after light out if you're not scared of detention, Moony.  
__Just want to talk.  
__-Padfoot_

* * *

"Just want to talk? No offense, Rem, but can you really trust him right now?" Lily was, as usual, dishing out more advice than Remus thought she ought to, considering that he love life consisted of fighting with a egotistical boy in glasses every other day. Perhaps it was about time that she started to teach what she knew rather than getting into things she couldn't even handle herself.

"Look, Lily, I appreciate what you have to say and believe me when I tell you that I don't know whether or not I can trust him either." Remus spoke slowly as he watched the wheels turn in his redheaded friend's mind and attempted to beat her to the chase. "But this whole holier-than-thou attitude that you've been throwing out here lately is just…you know, I've been listening to what other people have to say so much lately that I think it's time that I pay more attention to how I feel."

Dinner was being spent with the two sitting near the edge of the Gryffindor table, neither of them consuming very much as they conversed. Lily shrugged at his most recent remarks. Not exactly the effect that Remus had been going for. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. Do what you want, Rem, but keep a few things in mind." She held up her index finger and then pointed it down the table towards where Sirius sat. "That boy has broken plenty of less deserving hearts before and one night in the Astronomy Tower is not going to fix that."

Lily had a point. Plenty of girls had been scorned by their friend before. He was a Venus Fly Trap that preyed on pretty, little girls and now, apparently, on small, young werewolves. Who knew that the laughing young man who was piling his plate high with food had it in him? The meal ended when Lily decided it did and they made their way up to the common room before anyone else did.

Remus sat, unproductively trying to figure out what else Aguamenti was good for, but couldn't imagine when he would ever need to use the water stream-producing spell other than when something burst into flames. Only one thought came to him in the fifteen peaceful minutes he and Lily spent in the common room before the rest of their House joined them.

_If I'm thirsty. Really, really thirsty._

"Sorry about what happened with Sirius, Remus," a girl that Remus vaguely remembered as Miss Lewis from when he had been in Slughorn's class. Her arbitrary effort to talk to him seemed that it was just going to be one of a hundred as several more Gryffindors that Remus could honestly attest to have never talked to in his life before approached him offering an apology for the break-up.

"Funny how all these people were glaring at me not a few days ago and now they're all clamoring to tell me how _sorry _they are?" Remus scoffed at the idea of genuine feeling behind any of the people's statements. They were all able to accept the break-up with a sigh of relief and yet couldn't accept the couple that he and Sirius made up?

"Funny how out of all the people apologizing the one who really owes it to you to say something is the one who's avoiding you?" Lily shot back with a nod towards the stairs that led to the boy's dormitories. Remus glanced in the direction of the stairs only to see Sirius and James just disappearing through the doors. He sighed and turned back to his parchment, tapping his quill absentmindedly against the Potions textbook he was using to write on.

"You know, I'm almost sure I saw your name written on Snape's book when I sat next to him earlier."

"Remus!"

"I'm serious, Lil, I don't lie about these things." Actually, he did, but just look at how well it worked to get Lily off on another tangent. Who cared what she was talking about now as long as it didn't involve Remus and his nonexistent, confusing and troubled relationship status.

* * *

Sneaking out always seemed so much easier when you were with James. All you had to do was throw the Invisibility Cloak over your shoulders and keep a relatively even breathing pattern and keep the password back into the Gryffindor Towers in your mind so that you wouldn't forget it after gallivanting through the immense castle all night. Without James, or rather without his gifted item, sneaking out was a whole different story.

For Sirius it would have been easy because Sirius had thought ahead and left for the Astronomy Tower hours before they were supposed to be in bed, meaning he had simply gone out while one was still allowed out and then never returned which no one questioned. Remus had tried to wake James up but soon realized this was a fruitless activity that only resulted in James' snoring to increase.

With no intent to rifle through his mate's belongings Remus begrudgingly left through the portrait hole in full visibility of anyone who happened upon his. Only then did he remember his Prefect badge which he now happily clutched in his left hand, his right holding a _Lumos_-lit wand out in front of him to guide himself through the darkened halls of the late-night school.

Surprisingly he reached the steep, spiraling staircase that led up to the Astronomy Tower without being found by anyone. Despite this, halfway up the stairs he almost fell off when he was passed through by Nearly-Headless Nick. "Up to the Astronomy Tower, my dear boy? Well, I'll let you alone in that case. I can certainly confirm that I know what goes on up there and also state that I wish to not know of what you are partaking in." The chill of the ghost moving through his flesh disoriented Remus for a minute but he grabbed onto the edge of the staircase as he stumbled and then heard a discouraging _clink _of metal as his Prefect badge slipped from his fingers and the sound of it hitting the ground below was heard.

A few moments were spent in a self-conflicted mode where he argued as to whether he should bother to retrieve the badge or not. Something in his mind told him not to and he continued up the stairs at a slower pace, watching for any disembodied spirits this time around. When he finally reached the door and placed his hand on the iron ring that served as a handle he froze and then pushed open the door, not knowing what to expect.

The tower was largely immersed in darkness just as the rest of the castle was, but Remus' eyes easily adjusted to the lack of lights and he was able to make out Sirius' figure especially because the other boy was standing in front of one of the windows and also because he spoke. "Sure as hell took you long enough, didn't it?" These words made Remus regret even taking the time it took to open the door to the tower.

No words left Remus' mouth as he walked, slowly, closer to Sirius, pocketing his wand and not sure of what to do as he reached the window through which the moonlight streamed, causing both of them to look ghostly pale. "Are you talking about how long it took me to get here or how long it took for me to realize I was a fag?" Remus said in a fake, cheery voice.

Much to his own astonishment Sirius laughed at this comment. Remus himself smiled, but quickly turned away towards the gloom of the tower so that his companion would not notice this. "Both, I suppose," Sirius said, a slight lilt to his voice. "Never really thought of it that way but you sure have a way of finding double meanings in things, don't you, Rem?"

"Was there a double meaning when you called me pitiful?" He was hitting in low places now, cheating almost. "Because if there was, well, I certainly didn't catch it." He saw the grimace on Sirius' face and watched as he closed his eyes, like he was trying to hide from Remus' words. "I thought you wanted to talk, Pads, but if all you're going to do is stand here like I'm not right next to you then, well, I'll just leave right now."

Sirius didn't reply and kept his eyes closed and Remus shook his head lightly in disappointed and turned to walk away. He was stopped by a hand grabbing the loose material of his sweater, several of the threads slipping away from the clothing item because of its worn condition. "I want to talk, Moony. If you'll just listen for a moment." At these words Remus turned around was met with Sirius putting a tentatively placed hand on his cheek.

"I would like to say, first and foremost, my dear Remus, that I have a temper that is easily set off when someone puts me down and especially when it is you." The words, no more than a whisper, were only commenced once Sirius' face was inches from his own, Remus being able to feel the hot breath of the other boy on his face. "Now I don't know how" – his lips grazed against Remus' left cheek – "or why you are able to do such things" – they reached his temple and planted a soft kiss there – "yet I have the feeling that I affect you in much the same way."

"Be that as it may," Remus said, backing away from Sirius who was now moving to put his arms around the werewolf, "that's the least of my worries. What I want to know is why I seem to be nothing more than a pawn to you. Something you can play with and then just toss to the side. So if you can stop…_playing _with me for a moment and say something that actually means something then maybe we can come to some sort of agreement as to what is going on here."

"I am not _playing _with you. On the contrary, I'm inclined to believe that you are only convincing yourself that that's what is going on here." Sirius looked shaken at the conclusion Remus had come to, angry almost, but not quite. "Would it be correct to say that you're happy with people accepting you now? I saw you in the common room earlier with all of them flocking around you. You wanted that."

Here, in the shadows, Remus blushed because he knew Sirius was right. They know stood inches apart, but it felt like oceans were in-between them. "Look, I won't deny that I was out of line with what I said to you in the hospital wing. I apologize for that, Moony. I was wrong to do so, but am I so wrong to guess that part of you would rather have the acceptance of your classmates than have me?"

Now Remus was supposed to deny this, but he knew in his heart that to do so would be a lie. As much as he would like to respond quickly and in a way that would gain him a smile, he couldn't. There was a nagging voice in the back of his head that told him, of course he wanted to be accepted, and another that asserted its belief that Sirius should be much more important to him than what other people thought.

It took too long for Remus to respond and he knew it. His choice should be obvious, not torn into two equally appealing pieces of consciousness. "It's not that I don't want you Sirius," Remus finally answered. "The fact is, I'll never be accepted. I was here because no one knew about what I was, but when we started dating I became an outcast in a different way. I just…I don't know what to do."

"I feel the same way, Rem, but here's the difference between you and me, alright?" Sirius looked towards the window and then spoke, his eyes narrowing slightly and his tone turning soft. "I'm choosing you now, Remus. I made some mistakes, yeah, but we barely even had a chance to go anywhere with this. I'm choosing you and you haven't made a choice yet. So what's it going to be?"

There was no vocal answer. Remus had no idea how to say anything after the testimonial that Sirius made, so instead he did something that he very rarely did and gave into his impulses. The only answer he gave was grabbing the front of Sirius' sweater, much nicer than Remus' own, and pulling him close, then he brought their lips together just as Sirius spoke his name.

It was the first real kiss they had. Every other kiss had been forceful or under some sort of influence. This one was different, this one just happened. This one was actually _meaningful_. Sirius kept repeating something that didn't make sense to Remus as they exchanged kiss after kiss in the cool, shady tower. Their arms were wrapping around one another, but Remus barely noticed because his mind was somewhere else.

"Remus," Sirius repeated, and the werewolf tried to think of how many times he had heard his name in the past few minutes, but there was no way to tell because he was barely paying attention. Their clumsy hands fumbled with buttons and zippers and Remus was pushed, back against the wall, by Sirius, his shirt thrown to the ground. Things were becoming more dynamic now, but it wasn't losing its meaning. Sirius was whispering into his ear as he worked to undo Remus' trousers.

Sweet nothings, as they were called, meant to be nothing more than a few romantic words spoken in the heat of the moment when there was nothing else that came to mind. "I love you, Rem." Kisses on Remus' neck. "I really do, Rem, I do." Groping at Remus' trousers, pulling them off. "I'm so sorry. Don't deserve you." Remus didn't say anything, didn't know what to say, only let out moans as Sirius advanced on him and all their clothes were lying to the wayside, banished in moments of ecstasy.

"Sirius," was all he managed to whisper into the air as events that the room had seen before began. The atmosphere around him became hot and his skin felt as if it was on fire and he found himself wondering why he had ever considered choosing what people thought about him over these moments. As Sirius entered into him again and again, still whispering, Remus heard himself whimpering and felt his arms shaking beneath him. Recent nights had found him imagining this, though he might not have admitted it to himself, but his thoughts could have never matched the elation of reality.

* * *

They woke up in Sirius' bed, somehow having made their way back to the Gryffindor Tower in the early hours of the morning. Neither one of them made much of a move to get up when they were awoken by the laughing voice of James. "I'm certainly hoping you two have boxers on underneath there."

"It's your lucky day, because we do, Jamesie, we do," Sirius replied in a sleepy voice, placing a kiss on Remus' forehead. The lycanthrope squirmed slightly, barely awake in Sirius' arms and kept his eyes closed to the sunlight that streaming into their dormitory in the early morning.

"Does this mean you two are going out again?"

"Nah, it really wasn't that all good."

"Ah, well, better fuck next time."

"You kill me with your wit, Prongs," Remus muttered, rolling over in the bed so that he was facing Sirius, who only managed a dreamy smile at him and brushed some of the tawny brown hair out of Remus' eyes. Behind them James made noises that sounded as if he was about to throw up. "Stop looking in the mirror, James," Remus said, just barely loud enough for his mate to hear as he found himself staring into the gray eyes of Sirius Black and realizing that no amount of acceptance in the world could measure up to the love he felt at that moment.

**A/N**: I consider upping the rating for this. But then I remembered, oh wait, you tried to write sex once and look how that went. If you've read the story I'm talking about you know I'm bad at, shall we say, intimate details, so this is how I handle sex in this story. May it be noted that I'm fifteen to everyone? Not even legal by a long shot! So…understanding in the fact that I'm totally not knowledgeable on such subjects? :D Also, the Astronomy Tower is so like…it's never explained fully and even the HP Lexicon doesn't have much information on it. I took some artistic liberty there. I didn't want to put fuck in the title of the chapter, so, there you go, cheesy pun. Review even if you hate it.


	8. Love Is Not A Victory March

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: There's a bit of a POV change for a little bit and jumps back in time. Not permanent, but necessary. I only do POV changes and skip around in time when I find then necessary and proper and this one definitely is. Written while listening to Tokio Hotel and drawing. Influenced greatly by Bill Kaulitz's good looks and a muted TV in the background. Title of the chapter stolen from the song 'Hallelujah' by Leonard Cohen. I hate this chapter with a passion. It took me so long to write and no matter how many times I went through it the line of events just seems faltering and all over the place.

**Disclaimer**: I wish.

**Chapter Eight**: Love Is Not A Victory March

Out of all of his classmates Barty Crouch Jr. was the one that was most susceptible to the lure of night. While the other boys in his dormitory slept Barty was sneaking out of the dungeons and making his way through the halls in an exciting and free sort of way, something he wasn't allowed to do during the day.

For the first two years of his schooling Barty had spent much of the night time figuring out what areas of the school to avoid, good places to hide and which doors led where. A few weeks ago he had even been lucky to overhear one of the Slytherin prefects talking about the password to the legendary prefects' bathroom. Barty smiled haughtily to himself, as he had just left the said bathroom and was currently making his way up to the Astronomy Tower while he towel-dried his brown hair.

Nights had recently consisted of a late night baths, the only bothersome fact being that cooing mermaid picture that that would talk incessantly, and then making his way up to the tower at such a late time that no one else would even think to be there. This area of the castle was firmly gloomy and penetrated Barty's emotions as he found himself at the foot of the spiral staircase that led up to the tower.

Something caught his eye as he was about to ascend the stairs and he turned towards the pompous glint the object was giving off. Ever curious Barty walked a few feet towards what he found to be a Prefect's badge. Picking it up and examining it in the moonlight it was revealed to be a Gryffindor's, the golden lion standing proud behind the large 'P' that denoted it for what it was. Thinking to himself Barty realized that the only Prefect from the red-and-gold House that he knew of was that vile Lupin boy.

First instincts were the drop the thing where it had been and then to continue to his destination, but before he could do that a thought came into his mind. What _was _the badge doing here after all and not on the Prefect's clothing? If it was indeed Lupin's then were was _he _in all of this? Barty spent a few good moments staring at the thing in his hand until he looked upwards and realized that whoever's badge this was must have dropped it either on their way to or from the Astronomy Tower.

"Whatever are you doing out of bed at this hour, my good fellow?" Barty jumped at the sound of a voice behind him and dropped the badge in his haste as he turned to face the bobbing head of that moronic Gryffindor House ghost, Nicholas or something else second-class like that. "Very much sorry to have startled you!" he offered an apology, and then swooped down to the badge, as if he could pick it up from the place it had fallen, half concealed by a rather large bookcase. "But what are you doing with Mister Lupin's Prefect badge now? He dropped it earlier from the stairs and I would have picked it up for him if I could have, but, alas – now where did he go?"

Because Barty Crouch Jr. was already gone, slipping through the shadows back to the Slytherin common room, a devious story fresh in his mind as he evaded capture by school enforcement easily.

* * *

"Merlin, Sirius, I've never seen you this eager to go to breakfast," Remus remarked as he watched Sirius, who was looking extremely annoyed, undo all of the buttons of his white shirt. The previous attempt at putting on this article of clothing had ended with a button with nowhere to go and an exasperated sigh from Sirius as he had been trying to get ready in world record time. "I mean, slow down for just a moment and take your time."

"Wasn't what you were saying last night," Sirius muttered as he worked on getting the last pearly-white button into place. James snickered from behind them as he entered the bathroom, somehow already eating a piece of toast which Remus had to presume had been a gift from a few unknowing house-elves. Remus glared at both of them though had to admit Sirius was right. "Besides, it's not every day that I wake up just having had the pleasure of a good shag the night before."

"I don't ever remember you getting ready this fast last year."

"Yeah, Pads, if that's the case why haven't you been like this every morning since third year?"

Breakfast was entered into unwittingly, none of them prepared for what was about to happen. At first it just seemed like the usual. A bit stronger maybe, but only because Sirius and Remus were holding hands and hadn't they broken up just recently? It was to be expected and they didn't think anything more of it as they sat down for their morning feast. Lily's expression was critical at best, but she seemed to accept what was going on with her normal dignity.

It wasn't until a large uproar came from the Slytherin table that things really took a turn for the worse. Remus stopped buttering his toast for a minute as he heard the surge of noise from the discriminatory table and dropped his knife onto his plate with a clatter as he saw the cold eyes of Barty Crouch looking at him in an amused way that made Remus' stomach churn.

"S'the matter, Rem, love?" Sirius asked from beside him, mouth full of what had before been eggs and sausage. His face was slightly concerned, but more apt to his own personal brand of morbid curiosity, wanting to know what was troubling his mates just to know that something was bothering someone. Remus only nodded towards the Slytherin's table where some sort of rumor seemed to be budding into adulthood. "Bloody prats the whole lot of them. Don't pay them any attention." His voice was now overwhelmingly protective as he flung an arm around Remus' shoulders and rested his head on top of the werewolf's. The rest of breakfast seemed to go smoothly albeit that normality was at work and some poor soul's personal life was being whispered throughout the Great Hall.

Peter, who had been curiously absent for much of the morning, only meeting up with his friends just as they were entering the Great Hall, was looking around the large room nervously. The jerky actions were incredibly weird even for the rat and Remus almost brought this up, but James had some sort of Quidditch meeting to attend before their morning classes and Peter insisted on going along, leaving the couple together as Sirius finished eating his hearty second helping.

"Hey, Rem, don't forget we've got hallway duty tonight," Lily reminded him as she left the Great Hall, giving him a slight wink as she did so. Remus smiled after her, but this was quickly dispelled as one forgotten memory rose into prominence in his mind.

"Oh, _shit_," he whispered, hurriedly searching his robes in a futile effort to find something he was sure was lost. His Prefect badge had fallen into the darkness of the Astronomy Tower stairwell at an ungodly hour of the night that Remus couldn't exactly pinpoint. He chastised himself for not taking the few seconds it would have required to hop down a few steps and grab the damned thing.

"Lose something?" Sirius asked lightly, as he pushed his emptied plate forward, watching Remus' frenzied hunt with an air of pleasure.

"I dropped my Prefect badge last night when I was going up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. Oh, shit," he repeated, standing up as he thought of who could have found it. If Filch or one of the teachers had gotten to it he would have to make up some sort of lie and he wasn't very gifted in that area of life. Sirius seemed to realize this and they agreed to go to look for the badge before Transfiguration class.

Remus was getting used to it, he was pleased to admit. Holding Sirius' hand wasn't so hard now that the whispers didn't pierce him like a knife through his heart. In all reality he was done dealing with people's attitudes about the situation. The strange thing was that the words people were saying today, the ones he _knew _were directed at him and Sirius, were even more hushed than usual yet somehow stood out in his mind, something telling him that whatever they were saying was worse than a derogatory remark or two about sexualities.

The most bizarre event was when they were walking up a flight of stairs towards the sixth floor and a small group of Ravenclaw ladies stared at them the entire time, seemingly watching every step they took, until the two had made it to the next floor and the assemblage went back to blathering about whatever subject they had been in before. "Well some people certainly have their knickers in a twist," Sirius muttered as they continued through the halls. Remus didn't respond, thinking to himself that something more than some sort of panty problem was going on.

The stairwell of the Astronomy Tower was rather immense, but Remus hadn't expected that it would be very hard to find his badge. The two spent the better part of ten minutes looking all around the area for the red-and-gold item, even venturing a peek under one of the suits of armor that creaked violently as the did so, causing Remus to cry out in his rather sensitive state of mind. "Remus, what _is _the problem, love? It's just a badge, I'm sure Dumbledore will just give you another if you ask all cute like you do."

Remus blushed lightly and even grinned, but didn't get a chance to say a word because he was beaten to the chase by a snooty tone in the background. "Is this what you're looking for, Lupin?" Sirius and Remus turned to see who else but Barty Crouch Jr., picking up the Prefect badge from the dusty floor underneath a haphazard bookcase that was hidden in an alcove, a place that Remus felt would have been impossible for his badge to have fallen and remained, undisturbed.

"Er, thanks, Crouch?" Remus said, unsure of his words, as he reached out to take the badge from the younger boy's hands. But Barty didn't hand it over, instead he tossed it towards Sirius and, as he was unprepared, it hit him squarely on the shoulder. "What in the bloody hell was that for?" Remus found himself saying, although it didn't matter in the least as Sirius' temper had taken over.

"I don't know who the fuck you thought you were dealing with but I'm not a fucking pansy, Crouch!"

"Gerroff me you goddamn fag!"

"You guys, stop yelling." Remus' voice came out slightly whiny as he watched the two fight relentlessly and considered trying to pull them apart but figured that if there was a chance Barty would come out of this with a black eye he _could _look it over for just a moment. He chose the wrong moment.

"Again? Mister Crouch, I can't do much to you, but don't doubt that you'll be in Slughorn's office every night for a while now!" Barty who had, indeed, the makings of a black eye, glared at Professor McGonagall and left the muttered something under his breath at these words and childishly stomped at the floor. "Oh, oh no Mister Black. Get right back over here _this _instant. You, too, Mister Lupin."

"Ah! But you have a class to teach today, come on; we have to go, Professor!" Sirius and Remus, who had been making their way for the corridor while the professor was focusing on Crouch, were disappointed, but not altogether surprised when their teacher used a harsh voice to call out at them. Sirius had spoken and was now holding onto the black sleeve of Professor McGonagall's robes, attempting to pull her towards the corridor and away from the stairwell.

"I'm afraid neither one of you will be turning any owls into opera cups today," the professor said in a grave voice that made Sirius' face turn red as he choked back laughter at the contrast between what she was saying and the tone she used.

"Oh, Merlin! But that's sure to be on the N.E.W.T.s! Everyone I've talked to says opera cups are always on the practical exam," Remus thought aloud, putting his head in his hands as he thought of the prospect of failing the practical exam on the basis of missing the one class that covered the subject of owls and opera cups, a particularly difficult subject, or so his book had told him. Failing that exam would lead to nervousness on others, and in the end he'd receive such low scores that not even his own mother would want to look at the report.

"Seems you'll have to practice outside of class. To Dumbledore's office, the lot of you. Come on, now!" They were ushered down several halls until they reached the familiar gargoyle that led up to Dumbledore's office. It stood ominously before them, unmoving in all it's stony glory, seeming to forebode that things were not going to work out this time. "Licorice Wands – and, no, Black, it will be changed later so there's no way you come and visit whenever you please." Sirius' excited look was killed by her nonchalant words.

Even though this was being treated as a punishment by Professor McGonagall, Sirius seemed like he was having the time of his life. The staircase that slowly revolved to lead them up to the office was like some sort of joyride to Sirius and he even linked arms with Remus when they were at heavy oak door that opened to reveal Dumbledore sitting at his massive desk, leaned over piles of parchment, his hit precariously slipping to the side as he moved his quill to and fro, barely noticing the entourage of people that were standing in the doorway to his office.

"You three stay here while I explain this…affair to the Headmaster," Professor McGonagall said in a chilling voice, one that succeeded as far as Remus was concerned as he shivered slightly listening to the words that warned of some sort of severe punishment that Remus could barely even think about. What had they even done that was so terrible?

"Oh, no, you've got that all wrong. Crouch and I were fighting, not having an affair." The words from the raven-haired boy were only met with a hard gaze from their professor and then she turned on her heeling, briskly walking away from them and, when she reached the headmaster's desk, conversing with him in low tones. "Well, gods, who has made it their duty to collectively twist everyone's knickers today?"

"You're kind of getting stuck on this knickers thing, Padfoot."

"Oh, well I know what _yours _looks like, don't I, Rem?"

"Er, I wasn't aware that I had switched from boxers to girl's panties."

"Well, now you know."

"Geh."

"Bug off, Crouch, and mind your own business."

"It's kind of hard to when you two are as loud as fucking banshees, Black."

"You don't have to listen, Crouch, it's not like Dumbledore is because if we're screaming like banshees he must be able to hear every word."

When they were called over to talk to the Headmaster face-to-face Professor McGonagall gave them all a disapproving look and then left the office, probably on her way to her first class of the day, as it should have been starting in a matter of minutes. Approaching the desk, the first words out of the bespectacled man were: "Why are we speaking of undergarments in my office? Is that how this entire fight came about?" Sirius laughed out loud at these works and received a charmed look from Dumbledore. "May I assume that this was not what the argument, and fight that soon followed, was about?"

"Y'know, I think it might have had something to do with underwear, actually," Sirius said with a sigh. "But you should really be asking our dear friend Barty."

"Mister Crouch?" Dumbledore was smiling slightly, obviously in tune with the sarcastic notion of Sirius' request.

Barty's mouth opened in anger and his brow furrowed as he looked at the headmaster, and then turned to the other two boys who were looking at him in mock expectancy. "Oh, for the love of Merlin," he muttered to himself, just barely audible to the other inhabitants of the room. "Sir, I'm more of a victim here than anything. I simply found Lupin's badge on the floor and offered it to them and this vagrant here jumped me!"

"Well maybe if you didn't aim the damn thing at me like you were trying to score for your Quidditch team I would have punched you, you prat."

"Mister Black." Their headmaster gave a warning look and Sirius frowned, but slouched down a bit almost as if he was ashamed. Dumbledore was probably the only authority figure that Sirius had any amount of respect for, including his own parents. "Now, Bartemius, if you did throw the badge with intent to hit our friend here then you would be responsible for the fight as well. I'm willing to over look this; I believe our dear Professor McGonagall is overreacting a bit, already drained in the second week of school. So I would just like to know what prompted this exchange of blows on your end."

"Well – they're – I mean, that's not to say that I'm – Sir! They're doing _it_!" Barty's stuttered response ended in a vindictive look towards the couple, pointing at them in his pent-up fury as he accused them of what, Remus was now fairly sure, people had been whispering about all morning. Color drained from the werewolf's face as he heard the words and realized how things were fitting together. He was surprised, then, by the headmaster's response.

"Doing it? Is this some new term I'm not aware of?"

"No! Maybe! Just – it!" Barty looked frustrated as he attempted to convey his message, his face turning red as the situation caused a barking laugh to issue itself from Sirius' mouth.

"I'm certainly not doing it, Crouch. Remus is, every night almost. I believe he's talking about homework, isn't that right?"

The avoidance of explaining to Dumbledore what was going on frustrated Remus. Actually, he was sure that either their headmaster was playing dumb on all accounts or had simply been struck blind and deaf because if he hadn't heard about what was going on by now that was the only other explanation. "Sirius and I are dating, sir, and I'm almost positive that's all the cause of this."

"Is that all?"

"Just about, unless you really want to know every detail."

"I'm quite sure I do not wish to know of the escapades my students embark on, but thank you for offering Mister Lupin."

"But, Headmaster!" Barty's voice cried out, shocked. "They're – the entire school knows they're doing it!"

"Well I'm certainly glad they're doing their homework, Mister Crouch, it is part of growing up, after all."

* * *

"You know, I'm really starting to think we need some way to get around this place without arrogant dickheads having a way to sneak up on up," Sirius grumbled as they made their way towards Transfiguration class, the halls empty around them, devoid of stares if only for this fact. They were holding hands freely and Remus almost wanted people to be there to see the fact that he didn't care what they were thinking even if he did a bit.

"Well, keep wishing on that one, love. As far as I know there's no way to prevent that, and besides –" Before he was able to finish his sentence Sirius leaned in, right there, in the middle of the hallway and started kissing him, the two of them connecting in synch and neither one of them letting go of their tight grip on the other's hand. Exchanging contaminated oxygen, Sirius' tongue in Remus' mouth, unrelenting as they stumbled backwards, losing balance and becoming dizzy. They barely even noticed when the fourth year History of Magic class was let out from the doors right behind them.

"It certainly would help to know when _that's _going to happen, though, wouldn't it?" Sirius said, laughing, as they walked away from the small group of shocked students who would probably be adding to the rumors later on that day. No doubt by dinner time people would be saying they had shagged right there on the corridor floor.

**A/N**: They do have to make the map soon. :D But, ugh, terrible chapter in my opinion. I've been trying to balance between their relationship and the issues at hand. I find too many stories have such an accepting school body to the couple that it makes no sense. After all, this is the 70s. Of course I'll focus on Siri and Rem as much as I can, but it would be wasteful of me to write a story that doesn't have a bit more depth, in my opinion. Oh, and, I totally think Dumbledore knows what his students get up to, I mean, how couldn't he? As for Prefect badges…I spent a whole hour trying to find out what they looked like for one bit of information that doesn't really matter because Nick tells Barty it belongs to Rem anyway. The best part is, I know it's a miniscule detail, but I freaked out about it and I bet none of you care and think I'm insane now. I also did, like, thirty minutes of research on what British people eat for breakfast and just decided James could have some toast and bloody well deal with it. Dx Don't you love it? :D Well, review even if you don't.


	9. Fun With Fireworks

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: I apologize in advance. My keyboard is messed up, I'm functioning on no sleep, this chapter won't be what you expected, it might (will) disappoint you, and, yes, they actually used the phrase 'YouTube phenomenon' on my television, so I'm almost sure the apocalypse is coming. And, no, Remus Lupin did not want to talk about his sexual endeavors with Dumbledore. Well…maybe a little. And ff was being a real douche, so I had to upload this twice, aye, sorry for those of you who have this on alerts.  
**Disclaimer**: Well, seeing as the apocalypse is coming…this doesn't really matter anymore.

**Chapter Nine**: Fun With Fireworks

"Now?"

"Not now, Pads. In fact, you couldn't have picked a worse time."

"That's what you keep saying."

Remus Lupin barely reacted to these words as he compared what was in his textbook with what was on his parchment. When was he going to have to know anything about Unbreakable Vows, anyway? It seemed so impractical. Yet, once again, here he was comparing and contrasting the benefits and downfalls of some spell he would never use. Recently he had found himself finishing work at the last minute, his quill scribbling furiously on his parchment in the last few minutes of their break, trying to ignore everything going on around him.

Which was hard, really hard. Considering that, as Remus sat on the floor, surrounded by books and papers, against one of the numerous couches in the common room, Sirius lay on that couch and went from a person to a distraction. Constantly talking about inane things and asking that infuriating question, managing to keep Remus from finishing his work. "We're so proud of you," James had said, a hand to his heart as the werewolf had been near to tears at the thought of his first missing assignment in six years.

"Maybe I keep saying it because you keep picking terrible times to ask," he finally responded as he wrote the last few words on his parchment, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Or, _perhaps_, I'm picking wonderful times to ask and you're just not open-minded." Sirius presented this theory and almost made it seem plausible, but Remus only looked at his boyfriend and shook his head. "Worth a try." Remus began gathering up all the various things that were on the common room floor. Along with three textbooks and a plethora of parchment there were a few quills, absentmindedly tossed aside, that day's _Daily Prophet_, turned to an article on the Hobgoblins, James Potter and his new Prefect's badge as the other one had been lost.

James, who was sleeping, woke up only when Sirius got up and kicked his side. "Up, up," he mumbled, grabbing onto the edge of a burgundy, plush chair and pulling himself to a standing position, yawning in an exaggerated manner while lifting his arms up above his head. "When does class start?"

"Right about…now," Sirius replied, looking up at the ceiling as he lay on the couch. He was watching James' snitch, which, ironically enough, James had snitched from one of his practices. Somehow it had gotten loose in the common room and was frantically flying around even though no one was in pursuit. Sometimes one would lose sight of it, but quickly catch a flash of gold out of the corner of their eye and once more be able to follow its path.

"What?" Remus dropped nearly everything he had been picking up, only holding onto his Charms textbook by luck and looked at Sirius in shock.

"I'm joking, love. I don't even have a watch or anything. Oh, hey, Christmas present idea!"

It was the day before Halloween and the holiday was upon them, quite literally, as they rushed out of the common room. Peeves was smashing pumpkins in the corridors and James had the misfortune to be a hit target. "My hair!" Even though he had barely taken a minute to brush it that morning, James cried out in supposed agony as a few pieces of a broken pumpkin hit his raven disarray of tresses, splattering them with orange goo and several seeds. Peeves cackled with overwhelming joy as he watched the Gryffindor boy hysterically try to rid himself of the mess.

"You sort of match Evans! I bet she'll be flattered. Imitation and all that." Sirius sounded rather excited at the prospect, but James only glared at him as he grabbed some of the pumpkin out of his hair and flung it down the hall, hitting a Hufflepuff girl evenly in the back. "Or you could just do that." Sirius joined in, aiming at, and then hitting, Barty Crouch directly in the head. Barty turned around quickly but the trio of boys was already on their way down to the third floor.

Besides having trouble with his studies, Remus had recently found it easier to ignore what his friends got up to. As usual, he would rarely join in, but instead of looking on disapprovingly he would actually allow himself to smile. Albeit behind an armful of books. In the weeks that had passed since the incident with Crouch and Dumbledore things had gotten much easier for him to handle. The same could not be said for much of the school, but it was easier to accept the stares and mocking when he could accept himself, something he had come to terms with over that time period.

"Do you guys believe in ghosts?"

"James, one of our teachers is a ghost." Remus sometimes marveled at the things his friends said despite the intelligence he knew they had.

"I know, I know. I mean, like, real ghosts."

"You know, I'm pretty sure they're real."

"What about mean ghosts?"

"Need I remind you that the Bloody Baron is still alive?" Sirius said this laughingly, as if James was a complete idiot for not realizing this contradictory fact.

"Sirius…"

"You know what I mean." Actually, Remus wanted to point out, he really didn't. Sirius Black had the rare blessing of making no sense at the same time as he made total sense. A personified paradox complete with a wand, he was a modern miracle that had never quite made it into mainstream society. It was something Remus was willing to overlook or at least just make one of those 'quirks' that were really flaws that everyone made out to be lovable add-ons to someone's personality.

Charms class went as it normally did. Sirius fell asleep. James fell asleep. Peter, who had been oddly absent from break, tried to fall asleep but only succeeded in looking as bored as the rest of the class as Professor Flitwick explained to them the finer points of an Unbreakable Vow. Remus took notes which his friends, as usual, swore they would look over later, but never actually would.

As he left class someone grabbed his arm and dragged him away from his mates. It turned out to be Lily who looked as if she had something urgent to tell him. "Erm, I'll meet you guys at dinner, then," Remus called to his friends as Lily pulled him further down the Charms hall until they reached the Trophy Room. "Something important to tell me, Lily?" Remus said to Lily who, he thought to himself, was acting very odd.

"It's Regulus."

"Alright, so it isn't something important."

"Actually, it's very important." Lily bit her lip and kept her eyes on a Medal for Magical Merit as she spoke, playing with the hem of her sweater. "Apparently Regulus sent post to his parents. That means he probably told Sirius' parents about you two."

"Which means what?" Remus asked, seriously doubtful in tone. "Sirius doesn't even live with them anymore, it's not like they can do anything. And do I even want to know how _you _know about this before any of us does?" At times Lily's knowledge surprised him. Not the things she knew academically, rather how much she knew about people that Remus had never given a second thought to.

"Michael Carlisle told me he heard Regulus talking about writing home to one of his friends."

"And Michael Carlisle is someone to be trusted?"

"Well I'm not saying he thought this all out, Rem," Lily said, maddened by Remus' disbelieving interjection. "If you want the full details, Michael and I were talking about Potions, which led to the dungeons and how the Slytherins can possibly stand to live down there. It just turned into the fact that he had overheard Regulus talking about writing home to his parents and how strange it was that he had sounded so serious about something so normal."

"I just don't really see why this matters, Lily. What, are his parents going to show up and have us condemned? This isn't the Reign of Terror." Remus was highly cynical towards the situation. Sure, it wasn't a good thing that Sirius' parents knew, but he didn't see why it was such a big deal. In his mind the event barely seemed like it would affect them at all.

"You know what, never mind, Remus. I was just trying to tell you what was going on. I mean, obviously I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not in Divination anymore and even if I was…anyway. You don't have to poke fun at me for being worried." Lily sounded almost hurt and Remus felt a pang of regret for disregarding her information so easily, not even considering its merit. "I obviously don't know much about the situation now, but I'd like to point out that you and I have barely talked the past month. Actually, I've probably talked to James more than you."

"I've been a bit busy and so have you."

"No I haven't. And neither have you, not really. Not too busy for Sirius and James."

"That's different, Lily, you know that's different."

"It's not different at all, Rem, not at all. I don't know what the hell is up with you, but you've changed." With those words Lily Evans left the room, her shoulder colliding with Remus' in a brash fury that he wasn't used to from her, leaving him alone in a room full of tarnished objects that were in need of polishing, much like his own attitude.

* * *

"Now?"

"Gods no!"

Sirius frowned at the rejection as his boyfriend sat down next to him, finally joining his friends at dinner. Somehow Remus had managed to be fifteen minutes late even thought he had garnered a good half of an hour before the meal after his confrontation with the redhead. Something had overcome him and he had been forced to take an extended tour of the castle thinking about nothing in particular, a thing he had been doing quite a lot lately.

"It _seemed _like an excellent time to ask," Sirius said quietly, his hand creeping towards Remus' beltline, only to have the lycanthrope laugh and grab his wrist.

"Things aren't always what they seem," he reminded Padfoot, with a coy smile.

"Merlin, Moony, I never would have thought you would have it in you, but you're a fucking tease," James said from across the table, breaking into a fit of laughter at the circumstances. "I don't even know how you put up with him, Pads." This statement was said as James filled his mouth with food making the words almost unintelligible to anyone else besides his friends who had gotten used to this sort of things happening while they had a chance to eat.

"Aw, he isn't all that bad, is he?" Sirius said, suggestively, as he grinned at Remus. The two exchanged a quick kiss, something that always made Remus blush and Sirius smile. "Look at that, we're back on track. And, besides, James, you have your own tease." He pointed towards Lily who was sitting several feet away from them and looking like a recluse as she didn't talk to anyone. "Lily is like your Rem, only Lily pretty much pales in contrast."

"Ergh, please don't compare us to them," Remus complained, taking a drink of his pumpkin juice, and making a face, although it was more towards the idea of being like Lily and James than to the actual taste of his drink.

James glared at him, but Sirius laughed. "I don't get it, what's wrong with being like Lily and I?" James asked, in authentic confusion.

"Mate, you guys aren't even dating and you already act like you're in a fight," Sirius said with a smirk. "You've asked her out more times than I can count and every time you do she gives you the same exact answer. Some sort of disgusted, smartass variant of denial, right?" James shrugged. "Right. Anyway, I wasn't saying we're like them, love, just that you're a tease."

"Oh, thanks."

* * *

"Now?"

"Oh my – _no _Sirius. What would ever possess you to ask right now?"

"Would you guys shut up? Where's Peter?" James hissed at the bickering couple from down the hall. It wasn't entirely unusual for them to be out in the middle of the night – especially when it was Halloween. James had gotten the bright idea to set up fireworks to go off over breakfast the next morning. The plan had been in works since a late September visit to Hogsmeade. Peter was supposed to be carrying the bulk of the fireworks down to the Great Hall but was currently nowhere to be seen.

"He's the one who's talking really loud," Sirius said, grabbing onto Remus' arm and pulling him further into the darkness of the Great Hall which was just barely penetrated by a _Lumos _spell, courtesy of James' wand. They heard a crash from outside of the doors and the light all but disappeared.

"GAH! PETER YOU'RE GOING TO GET US CAUGHT!"

Remus was near to bursting out laughing, but caught himself by burying his head in Sirius chest. Sirius didn't seem to notice his intention of hiding the noise and took the chance to grab Remus into an embrace which the werewolf returned. "If you even think about asking me right now," he warned, his voice muffled into the taller boy's torso. Remus could distantly hear James sounding annoyed and Peter submitting apologies every few seconds. Everything seemed to melt away, though, as he listened to Sirius breathe and was given a chance to think.

Perhaps, he realized, Lily was right. He hadn't once protested what they were doing tonight. Would he have done the same before? But it was just a natural progression of character, nothing more, he thought. He was entitled to change over the course of six years, whether or not Lily Evans liked it. The change hadn't just happened in the past month, had it? Slowly he began to question this and wonder if he was actually valid in thinking this. Perchance, he had changed, was that altogether bad? No, he mused, not if he was alright with the change.

The thing was that he hadn't even _realized _the change, but did that then mean he was good with that or just that he was nearly blind? All the questions that were coming to his mind with such ease, but answers weren't as obvious. Remus was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he only just noticed Sirius was leaning towards him; the touch of his lips shocked Remus out of one train of thoughts and bought him a ticket to whole other one.

Even if he had changed that was the last thing he felt like thinking about as Sirius kissed him in the dark of the Great Hall, falling against the edge of one of the House tables. Remus' hands were underneath Sirius' shirt and he felt his hair being messed up, but could scarcely focus on either fact as he wasn't even given a chance to breathe until they were interrupted.

"Can you two keep your hands off of each other for a second while we do this or is that too much to ask?" James cried, as he had apparently abandoned all hopes of being quiet in favor of being louder than ever. Light assaulted Remus' eyes as Prongs and Wormtail entered the Great Hall, Peter clutching at an armload of fireworks and James holding his lit wand out at the busy couple.

"You know, I'm not even sure if I trust us, but we'll do our best," Sirius said, backing away from the werewolf, but grabbing his hand and following James and Peter towards the back of the Great Hall. "May I just ask _how _we're going about this? Don't these things only start with water or something? I mean, that would work well if we were merpeople or something. Or would it? Merlin, I bet the water would end up putting the fireworks out in the end anyway, which, well, makes it redundant, doesn't it?"

"Your point?" James said, turning around and shining the light directly in Sirius' eyes.

Sirius hit James' arm away and continued. "My point," he went on, "is how in the fuck are we going to set up, what, what is this?" He motioned to the fireworks that had fallen out of Peter's arms in a clatter. "Twenty? I mean, how are we going to start all of those at breakfast?" No one bothered to help Peter who was on all fours scrambling after every last firework.

"Look, I know this is going to be a hard concept to grasp, Pads, but we're actually going to apply something we learned in class to this," James said slowly, as if he was explaining something to a child. Remus realized another use for Aguamenti as James explained what they were going to do. "I've been thinking about it and it's pretty simple. We leave some of these under every house table, all of them, even the Slytherin's, and, here's the brilliant part. Ready? The ones that we bought will take a few minutes to go off, so each of us takes one table, sets off the spell and then comes back to the Gryffindor table and a few minutes later – no one's expecting it and no one's blaming us."

"That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Sirius said in awe. "I honestly can't wait to see how this goes."

* * *

Once they had finished placing the fireworks the four of them made their way back to Gryffindor Tower, underneath the Invisibility Cloak. It had been a tight squeeze for a while until they had pushed Remus out telling him he could flash his badge if they got caught. Luckily no such thing had happened and they ended up at the Fat Lady without any trouble along the way. They made their way into the common room and then up to the dormitories in silence, all of them near exhaustion.

"Hey, Rem…now?" Sirius said, quietly, from his bed.

"No, Sirius, _no_."

"But they'll be asleep really soon."

"What the hell are you guys going to do while we're asleep?" James exclaimed from the other side of the dormitory.

"He's been asking me all day at the _worst _times. Don't even worry about it," Remus responded, glaring at Sirius who was looking at him with an expression of mock hurt. This only seemed to peak James' interest and he looked at Sirius expectantly.

"Well I'm sorry if I didn't realize that there _was _a wrong time to ask someone to blow you."

**A/N**: After I finished this I said 'We did it!' a la Elle Woods? By the way, I spent, like, an hour trying to figure out if they would say blow job or not. Peter Pettigrew: will be having a side story, do you people see this? Okay good. :D Also, MY GOD, you people in England don't dress up nearly as much as we do in the States for Halloween, do you? D: Totally wanted to incorporate a joke about that in there but I wasn't sure how commonly it's practiced. Sorry it took so long to update, I've been watching _National Treasure _non-stop and being a total Riley fan-girl. Yes, there's a time skip, yes, you're probably angry about it. Oh well. Review even if you hate it.


	10. The Village Of Brotherly Love

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: Just a quick few things to ask. First off, I'd really love to have a beta-reader who can help, only with spelling and grammar mainly because of my dyslexia. If you have the time just drop me a message and we can talk about it. Secondly, I'm writing a story and I need some input on it. So if you're willing to do that as well it would be awesome and we could be best friends and, well, obviously that would be good for you. :D I ask too much of you people. Thanks for putting up with me.

**Chapter Ten**: The Village Of Brotherly Love

The first week of November gave them a Hogsmeade weekend to look forward to and Remus an interesting, and slightly devious, idea. Most of the time he didn't have these sorts of thoughts, but in the light of recent circumstances, it seemed only natural. On Halloween morning he offered to take the Slytherin table, a task none of them looked upon fondly. Using the charm on the fireworks was hardest at the silver-and-green table. The other boys could pretend to talk to friends from other Houses who happened to be situated near the items, but Remus had the hard job of making people believe he had a peaceful intention towards the Slytherins.

It was all part of his plan. First he bumped into two first-year girls who glared at him as he muttered the spell under his breath. "Erm, sorry," he mumbled. "Do either of you know where Regulus Black is sitting?" One of them narrowed her icy blue eyes at him and shook her head, both of them watching as he made his way further down the table. One of the fireworks had, unfortunately, made it's way to a spot only a few people away from Barty Crouch, Jr.

"Oh, goodness, sorry!" he said in the most genuine voice he could manage as he knocked over an unknowing young man's goblet of pumpkin juice. All he got was a hissed tirade of slurs as the boy tried to mop up the mess and a mildly interested smirk from Barty. There was only one firework left, they had opted to put a smaller number of fireworks under the Slytherin table for obvious reasons, and Sirius had planted this one purposely. Regulus Black sat in the same seat every day, nearly at the head of the table, surrounded by friends and admirers alike.

The younger Black boy was watching Remus as he came towards him, and the werewolf deliberately made it evident that he was doing so. He was in a hurry now, knowing the fireworks would be set off in minutes and that he needed to get back to his own House table before they did so. His heart was beating much too fast and he was shaking slightly, but only out of nerves. All he could do was force himself to look confident as he leaned over and dropped the piece of parchment onto Regulus' lap and quickly send a shot of water below the table.

As he walked away he heard someone ask: "What the hell did that queer give you, Black?" And to think, they had almost made it a whole five seconds without being insulting. It didn't bother Remus very much, especially since he never heard Regulus' answer and had to assume that his note would be read or else forgotten, which he was almost convinced would be better by this point. He joined his friends back at their House table. They had all made it back before him despite the fact that they had more work to do. Sirius raised his eyebrows but Remus just shrugged. At that moment several of the fireworks went off in succession, followed by screams and then more explosions. The bright lights shot up into the air and sparks of ever color showered down onto the tables. The four boys could scarcely act surprised and burst out laughing. In their defense, Dumbledore was doing the same thing.

_Meet me in Hogsmeade near the Shrieking Shack on Saturday at one in the afternoon  
__-RL_

* * *

"I told you we should have come early to avoid the rush," Sirius complained as he followed his friends through the main streets of Hogsmeade. James was ignoring him, but kept sighing after every criticism was thrown out of Sirius' mouth and kept his distance as they walked through the early afternoon air amongst bustling crowds of students that were enjoying the first visit to the village of the year.

"Yes, you did. But by 'come early' you meant sneak through one of the hidden passageways and try to convince Madam Rosmerta into giving us something stronger than Butterbeer," Remus pointed out, falling back a few steps to match the pace of his boyfriend and nonchalantly slipping his hand into Sirius', who, although he stayed quiet through the remark, scowled at it.

"In case you haven't noticed we haven't got drunk _once _this year," Sirius said angrily as they entered the packed place that was the Three Broomsticks. Good feelings were around them as they found an empty table near the back of the pub and settled down. Peter kept looking around nervously, almost as if he was watching for someone. This fact certainly perked Remus' curiosity, as he had noticed his friend's strange actions recently, but he found the current conversation more pressing.

"To be quite honest, Sirius, I'm not entirely sure that's a _bad _thing," he said. James nodded and Sirius looked ready to say something when Regulus sauntered by with a small group of Slytherins. The brothers only just made a convincing act of disregarding one another.

Sirius with a hearty: "_Well_, then, Peter, I do believe I'm parched." Regulus with a sort of half-chuckle that wasn't lost in translation as disrespect towards his kin. For a second Remus didn't see the look that Regulus gave him, but he caught it just in time and correctly interpreted it as the fact that his note had been received, but that he shouldn't expect anyone to be at the Shrieking Shack at one or maybe he should. An instinct that Remus wasn't sure he should trust told him that he should be there anyway.

When Peter returned with their drinks, sloshing the liquid over the table as he pushed one of them to James, he apologized to Sirius. "Madam Rosmerta told me to tell you that it was a nice try, but we probably have enough Firewhisky to last us for the entire year and by that she means that we have none." Sirius accepted the Butterbeer grudgingly and stared daggers at the landlady as she spoke to several hags in the corner of the pub.

For a while they talked of insignificant things, which was a relief to Remus who had been getting steadily irritated by the fact that every conversation he had encountered in the recent past had involved, in some way, shape or form, the fact that he and Sirius were dating. Nearly an hour went by as they spoke of nothing more than James' obscure want of some sort of map that, he theorized, could be made of the entire school and show where everyone was and what they were doing. Remus supported the idea saying that there was probably some way to make such a thing and Sirius and James greeted this with innocent smiles which led to the lycanthrope agreeing to do some research on the subject.

When it was nearing one Remus suggested to Sirius that they take a walk. James gave them a supporting – and overstated – wink on their way out of the Three Broomsticks. Part of Remus' consciousness was searching for people, Lily Evans and Regulus Black to be precise. As usual he was caught off guard when Sirius made advances as they neared the Shrieking Shack.

Moments passed without Remus even thinking about who was supposed to meet him where. Was anyone even meeting him anymore? Did it matter when he was snogging with Sirius near the abandoned house he called home on a full moon? Simple reasoning could deduce that the chance that Regulus would abandon his friends to talk to him was slim. So for a few moments he allowed himself to forget that there was more to being there than having some time alone with Sirius.

He might have even imagined that the world was gone around them for a second. Might have, but didn't want to admit that talent that Sirius had for making him forget everything else and getting away. Falling back like they seemed to, his hands in Sirius' hair and Sirius' hands in his sweater. Cold air touched his skin as it was exposed to the afternoon sunlight as Sirius' lips connected with his and tasted undeniably like Butterbeer and making him feel warmer instantly.

A small cough came from behind them and Remus was surprised to see a blushing Regulus standing a few feet down the path, looking at the Shrieking Shack with a lot more anger than a shack seemed to deserve. Sirius groaned when the werewolf pushed him away and reluctantly allowed himself to be pulled towards his younger brother. "You didn't say he would be here," Regulus mumbled in a voice that Remus couldn't read as any specific emotion.

"Didn't say he wouldn't, either," he replied brightly, smiling at the two brothers in turn and getting the same emotionless look back from both.

"When did you two talk?" Sirius asked, catching on to what was going on as he listened to them speak.

"Oh, we never actually talked; not really. I just sent him a note to meet us here." His smile was faltering as he watched the expression on Sirius' face which was rapidly changing into one of upset, clearly not wanting to be near Regulus who was acting as if the couple wasn't there, kicking at the ground and stirring up dust into the air. "Alright, you two _obviously _don't want to talk."

Sirius and Regulus both laughed haltingly, then immediately stopped when they heard the other. "What tipped you off on that one, Moony?" Sirius said, almost derisively, although he was looking at the Slytherin when he spoke.

"Probably _your _inability to talk about things in a civil manner," Regulus answered, knowing full well who the statement was directed at.

"No, I think it has more of something to do with _your _inability to accept something that makes you uncomfortable."

"I highly doubt that – "

"Right, because the amazing Regulus couldn't be at fault here."

"Actually I was thinking it might be more like the fact that both of you are too stubborn to admit that you're _both_ at fault," Remus observed from his spot in-between the two who were quickly closing in on him, resentment towards one another emanating through the atmosphere.

"Excuse me, Lupin, but did I ask you to talk?" Regulus growled at him, looking altogether menacing.

"No, but no one asked you to write home to your parents, now did they?" Remus finally burst out, louder than he intended. He found himself being pushed away from the two brothers as Sirius lunged towards his younger brother.

"Merlin, it's one thing to call me a faggot in front of the school, but what the hell are you doing now? Writing home to mum and dad and telling them what a queer I am?" Sirius sounded more enraged than actually distressed at the situation, quite different from how Remus felt. The raven-haired boy tackled Regulus to the ground and looked dangerously close to doing more damage to his face.

Regulus, instead of having any real reaction, actually lay his head down on the ground and sighed. "I, erm, well, I didn't send the post yet, I was going to send it later, maybe." Sirius' fist unfurled, though slowly, and he watched his brother with interest. "Yeah, I was going to tell them. Might, still, if you continue!" he added, his voice rising as Sirius made to punch him again and then stopped once more at the words. "Look, Sirius, I think they have the right to know."

There were a few slow minutes of silence which Remus felt went on much too long. Sirius moved away from his brother and Regulus sat up so they were sitting beside one another. Their looks were uncannily alike and completely different at the same time, certain traits the same and others complete opposites, but still brothers. "Maybe they do," Sirius said with a shrug. "But, you know, Regulus, I think it's something I have to tell them when I'm ready. Now when, you know, you are."

Remus had the distinct feeling that he should leave them alone, but had no idea where to go so he stood awkwardly to the side of the scene, staying distant from the two and yet close enough so that he could hear them. "Okay, I won't send the post then. Well maybe I'll just scratch out that bit. I'm still telling them you got detentions for a week and they ought to know how terribly you're doing in all your classes."

A sigh. "Figured as much, you stubborn bastard."

* * *

They parted ways at the Shrieking Shack. Nothing was shared between the brothers, no touch even though Sirius reached out as if to pay Regulus on the shoulder. He retracted his hand swiftly and pretended as if no such move had been made and then left with no words being exchanged.

Sirius and Regulus were, in simple terms, a dynamic that often found itself teetering on the edge, about to fall and explode into a million pieces, yet never doing so. Eventually the explosion was bound to happen, but for now they spent time finding an equalizer even if their only purpose was to keep something balanced in their life. In the end they could have been fighting every second of the day, but something kept them from it. Their beliefs were so different, but they were brothers. The bond between them was obviously strong, stronger than Sirius' connection with his own parents, if only because their union as brothers was still surviving in more than blood ties.

The two respected one another in a way that outside sources wouldn't understand. Regulus wasn't comfortable with Sirius' choices and made this clear just as his older brother did. Sirius didn't like this fact, but he had gotten his anger out on it and so had Regulus. They still felt the way they did towards one another, yet they had enough respect to keep away from confronting that fact again. In the end they were brothers, not friends, not enemies, but relatives that were strained by situations they could never agree upon, but always brothers despite it all.

As they walked back towards Hogwarts, the afternoon coming to an end, Remus realized he would never understand the relationship between Sirius and his younger brother and would never pretend to. It had been a mistake on his part to try and force them to come to some sort of agreement. Remus had never had a sibling of his own. In his mind that made him unfit to judge the relationship of the two brothers, just as it was impossible for anyone to understand the effects of lycanthropy without sharing in his experiences.

There was one thing he had garnered from the entire situation. The fact was that so many people in the school felt the same way that Regulus did about Sirius and Remus as a couple. They didn't fully understand it or weren't at ease with the idea. This, to Remus, made no sense, as he didn't see it as any different from a girl and boy dating. But the majority of the school population didn't think this way. Yet, as Regulus had shown them, it was possible for one to not understand but to accept. All that Remus could hope was that more people could eventually do the same.

"I met up with Lily," James told them, getting a look on his face that made the werewolf smile. It was quite obvious how Prongs felt about the redhead these days, he didn't even try to hide it behind an egotistical attitude, practically wearing it on his sleeves, so to speak. "Where did you go Wormtail?"

"Nowhere," Peter said a bit too quickly, not looking any of them in the eye.

"Oh really?" Sirius said. He and James shared a knowing glance, exchanging twin grins full of devilish intentions. Remus groaned internally. "What _have _you been up to lately Peter? Getting ideas from me and Rem, are you?"

"There's romance in the air everywhere, after all," James said in a singsong voice, clasping his hands together as he walked backwards, batting long eyelashes at the idea of love. "Even Wormtail must be getting some tail, right?" Peter blushed furiously and tried to hurry past his three friends, only to be grabbed by James. "Not getting off that easy, Peter."

"Well so what if I had a date?" Peter said in a hurried voice.

"What do you mean _so what_?" Sirius cried, a hand to his forehead, feigning shock. "Your very first, budding, oh _so _sweet and, more than likely, extremely boring, romance is of great importance to us. Do tell, do tell!"

"Oh good gods, she's a Hufflepuff isn't she?" James asked in horror.

"They're not all that bad," Sirius muttered, apparently remembering some sort of fond memory and getting jabbed in the side by Remus' elbow.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN GILLIAN ABBOTT?" James was not exactly known for having an inconspicuous attitude. His yelling caught the attention of several groups of students who were walking back to the castle near them.

"Oh, Merlin, not bad at all!" Sirius affirmed with a grin, until he saw Remus' deprecating look. "And…by that I mean she's terrible, ugliest thing I've ever seen. Nasty, Peter, what were you thinking?"

**A/N**: I really like this chapter, even though it's kind of short. :D Anyway, so be cool and send me a message to help me out with either beta-reading or some input on my new story. By the way, recently one of my friends and I were talking about slash and why people like to read/write it so much. Girls in particular. It's really interesting to think about and we each have our own opinions on it and disagree on several aspects. In my mind, I read/write it because I like the idea that love knows no gender and can happen between anyone. Honestly, I see Siri and Rem as a canon pairing, whereas she does not. I think it's interesting to see how believable one can make a slash pairing when it's not canon. Het tends to bore me to no avail because it's just…dreadfully normal. And, let's face it, slash is hot. So, to, you know, appease me, tell me why you like slash so we can have a longer discussion about it? :D Review even if you hate it.


	11. Life Is Like A Boat

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: I've been thinking about things you don't want to read about and decided to tell you one of them. California has legalized gay marriage. At least for the time being, I think that's miraculous! Don't you? :D And thus ends another thing I decided to bore you with. I don't like this chapter much at all. I know I've said that before, but, geh, I've got terrible writer's block this took days to write and I hate it. The rating should be up but it's not that bad. Just watch me get reported for this.

**Chapter Eleven**: Life Is Like A Boat

Remus coughed and immediately regretted it. Every single head in the library turned to him. Considering there were only three students and Madam Pinch in the library with him it wasn't that big of deal, but he still sunk behind his book and feigned invisibility to the best of his ability. _Hogwarts, A History _was only interesting to a point and only being read to pass time. It was fifteen minutes until the library was closing and the same amount of time before he was supposed to be begin Prefect duty with Lily Evans. Recent hallway assignments had found them on opposite sides of the castle, but tonight they were being forced to stay together and watch the Front Hall.

It was to the point where he couldn't put off his duties for much longer, so he put the large book back onto the shelf from which he had originally taken it and exited the silent study hall, fastening his Prefect's badge back onto the breast of his robes as he made his way down the stairs. "Hey, Rem." A flash of red hair met him when he reached his destination and the voice attached was hard to read, something with which he had been struggling with lately.

Every time someone spoke his mind muddled it up and he wasn't sure what to think anymore. Altogether he had decided to stop trying to analyze emotions because it only got him in trouble in the end. All that he could surmise was that the use of his nickname meant not all was lost with Lily. "Bugger of an assignment isn't it?" he said, trying to make small talk. No one wanted to watch the Front Hall. Peeves often showed up in the later hours and either you cleaned up the mess and got no sleep or suffered the wrath of a teacher.

"Suppose so," was all he got in return, along with green eyes meeting his for a second and then quickly averting along with her full figure as she walked a few feet away, he steps echoing through the otherwise silent hall. Remus sighed, the sound amplified and bounced off the walls, resonated off of the suits of armor, at least in his mind it was as loud as an explosion. "How have you been doing late?" She still wasn't facing him, rather leaning against the wall next to a portrait of a very interested looking lady in waiting.

All he could do was shrug. "Alright, nothing amazing. James said he saw you at Hogsmeade? You actually talked to him?" This was obviously a bit of a sore subject with the redhead as she scrunched up her face at raven-haired boy's name and made a small noise of disgust and shrugged. The lady in waiting raised her eyebrows at Remus. "Erm, was he lying then?" Remus asked, having suspected that had been the case from the very beginning.

Her response was maddening. "Oh what do you care? We haven't talked for all this time and now all of a sudden you want to know how things are between your mates and I and I'm supposed to say what? Here, I'll lie to you: everything is going lovely Remus, thank you for asking and for not telling me a thing about _your _life when we're apparently such excellent friends." She usually reserved this attitude for James Potter and Remus wasn't used to dealing with it.

"Didn't ask you about everything," finally he answered. "You're the one who told me I've changed. And maybe I have, but you know, Lily, until you told me I didn't know that was a bad thing." Something he had wanted to say for a while now and had imagined her blushing at and then agreeing with, everything solved. But, and here was the thing that he couldn't stand about girls, she changed her emotion suddenly and looked ready to cry.

"It's happening to everyone, you know?" she said, her voice near hysterics. "Everyone is changing so much. Before this year you all had a set to fall into. I knew who you all were; every one of you." It took a moment for Remus to realize that Lily was talking about him and his three best mates. "Now you're all changing and I knew it was going to happen, Remus, but it's all so sudden."

She was right to a point. They were all changing and it had almost escaped Remus' notice. Of course Sirius and his own change was a large one, but it wasn't the only change happening. It was a direct effect of becoming older and, in some of their cases, more mature. "You're right, Lily, but we were all bound to change, some of us for the better and some of us for the worse. Just something you have to deal with."

"I expect that if James keeps on changing like he does…I'll actually have to agree sometime." Another sudden change, still sniffling, but with a slight smile on her pale face.

"You mean you'd actually agree to go out with him?" Remus answered with a smaller amount of surprise than he actually felt. Something about James had definitely changed, but not to the degree he thought Lily was stating. He was still hexing people for no reason at all. Last week he had let Severus Snape walk around with a Jelly-Legs Jinx for an entire afternoon before Snape had the chance to get the countercharm.

Lily slightly nodded, then stopped, opened her mouth and sucked in air through clenched teeth. "I don't know. It all depends. Have you ever felt like, maybe, you're supposed to be with someone, but things are all just lined up to make it fail?" she asked. The lady in waiting was watching them with feverish intensity and Remus dreaded hearing their words be spread throughout the society of painted figures so he grabbed Lily's arm and pulled her along so they were walking the expanse of the Front Hall.

"Funny that you would say that, Lil, because that's pretty much how I've been feeling every day this year," Remus told her, folding his arms over his chest and keeping his eyes on the floor instead of watching Lily. Because of this he didn't her stop and she had to grab his shoulder harshly to get his attention.

"Can you not play that card with me?" she asked, her mouth forming into a frown.

"What card?" was fired back, skeptically. "I'm just pointing out the truth here, I know how you feel and I understand that, but if you want me to tell you things then you have to listen to them."

"Have you told him that?"

"Told him what? I've told him I love him, if that's what you mean."

"Ah, Rem, you've already made a mistake!" she slapped him on arm, a smile returning to her face, something Remus had missed recently.

Rubbing his arm he tried to think of what he had done wrong. "I did?" was all he could think to say.

"You told him those three stupid words instead of how you really felt." After that they returned to talking about other, simpler things, acting as if they hadn't deviated from their normal friendship at all. If there was one thing about Lily that Remus admired it was her ability to know when she was at fault and overlooking his inability to admit when he was.

* * *

It wouldn't have been a beautiful day to spend at the Quidditch pitch, anyway, he tried to convince himself. The first game of the season, Slytherin versus Gryffindor, in the chilly, yet crisp, autumn air that was surrounding them mid-November would have been fine if it wasn't raining outside. Already his hair was soaked through and through and he was chilled to the bone, feeling as if the rainwater had seeped through his skin all the way into his internal organs. The facts were, though, that James had insisted they be there to watch the game. Remus tried to convince himself that James wouldn't notice they were gone, the storm would hide that detail, they would be back and their mate would never notice. If only Sirius hadn't made such a scene.

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"You're not going to throw up, Pads."

"How do you know, Rem? I was up in the bathroom _all _night."

"No you weren't. You were in my bed and believe me, I know, because, need I remind you, you kept me up all night," Remus pointed out as he rubbed one of his eyes. Exhaustion was fresh in his body, causing him to slump against Sirius even as they argued lightly, sitting in the stands, only free from the rain because of numerous umbrellas their schoolmates had in hand.

"Oh," Sirius said, a thought process Remus wasn't quite prepared to analyze going through the other boy's head. "Well you might want to get the sheets clean because I puked all over them."

"No, you didn't."

"Stop being so smart."

"I don't really think knowing whether or not you threw up on my bed is an art of intelligence," Remus admitted, the last word drawn out by a yawn. Sirius had, indeed, kept him up all night, although it was a lot less devious than it sounded. For Remus it was impossible to fall asleep with his boyfriend right beside him, but Sirius had the knack for being his opposite and found that some nights he _couldn't _sleep without that factor. At times like these, the werewolf found himself being incredibly easygoing and would stay up the entire night while Sirius slept beside him peacefully. "No, no, no."

As a result he was in an irritated mood some days. Getting upset over little things and not letting Sirius have his way at the expense of his own happiness, just because he was in the mood. That very moment he was shrugging off Sirius' arm which had found its way across his shoulders. "If you really are going to be sick you're not doing it all over me," he muttered, contradicting himself in action as he leaned in even closer to Sirius and found his eyes closing.

"_Moony_," Sirius moaned, incessantly. "I'm going to be sick, I want to go back to the castle, please?" Remus peaked a glaring eye up at him and was met with a pleading look that softened him much too easily. Sirius knew it. "'Scuse me, sorry," he said as he pulled Remus through the stands. "I'm going to be sick!" he cheerfully announced to a group of fifth years who looked at him as if he was insane.

Now that they were walking on the Grounds Remus found himself thinking about what Lily had said. He grabbed Sirius' hand, subconsciously and they both stopped walking and stood there for a few silent moments in the rain. They were near the Herbology classrooms and it was still pouring rain. Sirius' eyes were barely visible behind a sheen of black, drenched hair. "You're rather amazing, Sirius."

A loud bark of laughter, some blushing from the werewolf as Sirius leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Tell me something I don't know," Sirius whispered into his ear, pulling Remus closer to him.

The problem with the rain was that it was becoming even more intense and it was loud. So Remus, too, had to speak directly into Sirius' ear when he spoke next. "I don't care what anyone says. Not even you could change my mind at this point. I'm in love with you." For a moment no response came besides Sirius leaning his head down onto Remus' shoulder. Then he was being pulled towards one of the empty Herbology classrooms and Sirius had pulled his wand out and cast _Alohomora _on the lock and pushed the door open so that they stumbled into the greenhouse, which was much warmer than the outside.

Sirius was like some sort of sexual time bomb, exploding with a force Remus was not used to, pushing the werewolf against one of the walls. The taller boy's tongue forcing its way into his mouth, Remus reciprocating the action, his back feeling frozen against the glass that was being rained upon on the opposite side. "Ah," was all he managed as Sirius' hands made their way further down his torso.

Fatigue found him slipping forward and wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck. Sirius grunted lightly in response to weight but when right ahead unbuttoning the lycanthrope's trousers, making quick work of exposing plaid boxers, kissing Remus' jaw line all the while. "What are you…what – Sirius?"

"Shush," Sirius whispered. The warm air of the greenhouse felt almost foreign on Remus' skin, until he felt Sirius' hand slip past the material. Remus whimpered lightly at the touch and let his head fall onto Sirius' shoulder to muffle the sounds coming out of his mouth. Still Sirius was kissing his neck and somehow handling the ecstasy-driven circumstances going on down below while Remus was scarcely able to deal with the noises he was making.

The fact that Sirius was rather adroit at this practice didn't register in Remus' mind. The line of kisses Sirius was laying out from his jaw line up to his hair line weren't making their way into his consciousness. The words that Sirius was whispering made no sense to him. All that he could focus on was how it felt to have Sirius stroke against his erection, the feeling was making him nearly gasp for air as he clutched harder on Sirius' shoulders and let out small moans.

Sound consisted of rain, pounding hard against the walls and ceiling of the greenhouse, almost drowning out the statements that Sirius was making, things Remus didn't want to think about because his mind was too busy with everything else. One of the remarks came loud and clear, as Sirius leaned in closer for a second and spoke. "You're mine, Rem." And he was.

Seconds later Sirius was zipping up Remus' trousers and Remus was panting, still holding onto the other boy, but now leaning back against the wall. Sirius touched his face for a few seconds until Remus noticed the sticky nature of his hand and pushed Sirius' hand away, though he allowed Sirius to run the same hand through his hair a few moments after that. "Remus?"

"Mm?"

"Want to know something?"

"Ah, yeah."

"You're going to have to be more eloquent than that," Sirius whispered, his breath hot on Remus' neck before he placed a kiss there.

Remus squirmed slightly. "I – ah, I – tell me, please, Sirius?"

"Lovely." Sirius' hands were under his shirt now, where Remus' skin was already hot and sticky, the humid air of the greenhouse not having as much to do with this fact as one might suspect. "I'm in love with you too." Even if it was predictable, even if Remus had been waiting for these words to come, they surprised him at the moment and he put is arms around Sirius' neck, his head spinning, unsure of what to say, only sure of how he felt.

There was an odd solemnity that one felt when they walked out into a downpour of rain having just committed a sexual act in a classroom that would be used for class in the coming weeks. The rain washed off every physical trace of what had happened, but none of the memories. For the first time in months Remus felt what he imagined must have been unbridled freedom, closing his eyes for a moment in the rain, warm despite the glacial aspects of the rainfall, as he held hands with Sirius.

* * *

"Did you see? No? And then I – just all like, _shwam_! Right through the hoop and – what, like? Eight times in a row?" James was talking animatedly, standing on his chair as he explained the game to everyone. Gryffindor had won and apparently, or so James said, James had scored eight goals in a row and led the way to victory for their Quidditch team. "Should have seen the look on their faces. No idea what hit them."

"Right, like he could see the look on their faces. You couldn't see a thing in the rain," Remus scoffed to Sirius. They sat a few feet away from the exhibition, making witty comments on their mate's embellishment of the events that had gone on during the match just because no one had been accurately able to see exactly what was going on at the Quidditch pitch.

"I don't know, I could see the look on your face. But I'm pretty sure I'm just, you know, psychic to your, you know, emotions and all that good stuff."

"We were inside, Sirius, that's hardly reason to decide you're in tune with my emotions."

"Okay, now you're in your angry, but not really because you know it's a terrible reason to be angry and, let's just face it, who could get angry at me?" Sirius asked, as if he was innocent of all faults. Remus didn't even have to resist the urge to roll his eyes this time, coming to a realization that just caused him to smile at the words and shrug lightly, now allowing Sirius' arm to go around his shoulders and falling back so that his head rested on Sirius' shoulder as they listened to James describe what he swore was a flawlessly executed reverse pass, mimicking the actions to his small crowd of adoring and dubious fans.

"Why do you have to be so _perfect_?" Remus mumbled, knowing completely well that this was only true in his own eyes as Sirius laughed and kissed the top of his head. Sirius had too many flaws to count, but so did Remus. Theirs was a relationship that seemed, to others, destined to fail, but Remus couldn't help to think that there was no one who understood him like Sirius did, understood him right down to every fault that he had, and in his mind that made them simply perfect.

**A/N**: I should be skipping around a bit soon and Christmas vacation will be coming up because I want it to and I'm thinking that may very well be the end of this story, about three more chapters, maybe an epilogue? Who knows. Also, I would like to mention where I get an enormous amount of inspiration for this story from. If you ever get a chance, there is an excellent book, and film based on it, called _Maurice. _It's like _Brokeback Mountain _but a thousand (million!) times better and with English accents. If you get the chance look at one or the other because they're both terribly lovely and you might even get a smile out of them. Review even if you hate it.


	12. Not So Strong

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: To be honest, I'm not quite sure what this chapter is going to be about. I have more story for about two chapters after this one and I could just write it into this one, but then I would have thirteen chapters and that would be an odd number that doesn't include a five so my OCD mind won't allow it. And, ergh, forgive me if I didn't reply to your review, I usually always do that, but my email has been acting up lately and I don't know why. D: By the way, I'm totally stressed out about this chapter. I'm like, freaking out about it, I don't know why.

**Chapter Twelve**: Not So Strong

"I heard it's not even real."

"They've been dating since September though. Why would they go through all this?"

"Who knows. But I'm just saying what I've heard. That this whole thing is just some big game to them. They're fooling everyone."

At this point Remus had felt that they were secure. It was the beginning of December, it was snowing and that meant things were pure, fresh and bright. No one was paying attention in class because vacation seemed to be coming up all too soon. Once more Remus had resumed his post as regulator between school and socializing, finding a balance that he was alright with.

The problem with this, because there always had to be one, was that he became delusional. With the sense of having everything he cared about in order, Remus became sure that everything else would eventually fall into place. That somehow his own acceptance would spread throughout his peers and he would get some sort of happy ending. This might have all been true, but he had to face the facts soon enough because he wasn't living in a fantasy world.

Human nature dictated that some people were just not going to understand the situation and that others would pick it apart and expose every last flaw they could find. In a school where magic was a normal occurrence and the only other relationships were all too obvious, no one seemed to be getting bored of Remus and Sirius, and they were getting close to the truth of how the two had started, but had diverged onto a displeasing tangent that Remus was getting sick of hearing people talk about.

Apparently they were attempting to deceive everyone for some purpose that wasn't entirely clear. Whoever had thought out the idea wasn't sure of the specifics. When they had first heard of this Sirius had laughed. "Yes that's it; we're out to destroy the world. Try again, please do." Remus, standing beside him had forced himself to smile when he was inclined to frown; disturbed by the fact that someone had come to the conclusion that their relationship was false.

"People are going to say things about you all your life," Sirius pointed out, later that day in the common room. "What you have to do is remember they don't know anything about you. Nobody does. Not even I know everything about you." Then again, he had to admit that Sirius was right as he usually was, but also that, upon further thought, his truths were uneasy, hard to deal with. Remus knew people would talk, but he didn't want them to. Part of him wished he was _just _Remus Lupin once more, rather than Remus Lupin, the boy who was dating Sirius Black. Not just a name anymore, but an affixed tag that would always be there, one that he wouldn't have minded had it been seen in a positive view rather than a negative one.

Now they were sitting at dinner and it was beginning to bother Remus more than ever. People would pass them and he would hear their words and some people who were right at the table would talk in plain earshot of him, as if he wasn't even there or didn't care about the things that they were saying.

For some time now he had fallen silent, a fork held in his hand, shiny and clean having yet to touch any of the edible substances on his plate. He couldn't quite discern what he was feeling at the moment. While he would have been prone to say something else he was nearly certain that it was resentment that was welling up in his chest as he listened to people speak.

Sirius had, five times and counting, tried to start up some rapport of speech with him and every time had found that this was a dead end. Remus would just sigh in response or shrug if it was a question, feeling uninterested in every subject that was presented before him. James had noticed this and was making small talk for all of them about the most mundane things. Peter was acting so hopelessly weird, keeping his left arm under the table at all times. "There's a time and place for everything Peter, and it is definitely not here and now to do that," Sirius had said in a grave voice.

"Christmas vacation, that should be, erm, fun," James pointed out the painfully obvious as he mixed potatoes and pudding together, something that he actually professed to like, much to his mates' disgust. Eating habits were the last thing on Remus' mind at this time, but he couldn't help but note this fact. "Are you coming back to my house for vacation or are you, erm, not?" James asked, directing his question at Sirius.

"I dunno," Sirius mumbled, his eyes fixed on the mess James was making of his food. His words were almost in a confused state, almost as if he wasn't really listening to the conversation. Remus had the feeling that his own mood was rubbing off on Sirius', something he didn't feel bad for in the slightest. In fact, he was under the slight impression that Sirius might have even deserved it.

The outburst was largely provoked by what he heard the fourth year boy next to him whisper, but he doubted that his friends knew that when the first words left his mouth. In any case they all stared at him. "Do you people _honestly _have nothing else to talk about?" Remus cried. Not only were his three closest friends looking at him, but so were several others, not even trying to hide the fact, clearly watching the scene. "All that I ever hear is _you_ people talking about us" – he motioned to the people sitting next to them, but really meant the majority of the people at the school; he was too caught up in the moment to care about this being true or not – "and then I have to listen to anyone who cares tell me not to listen to it, but you're the one who keeps brining it up! Maybe I don't _want _to talk about it, alright?" He backed away from the table, into the middle of the aisle between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw House tables. "I'm sick of it," he spat and then, without much thought, turned and left the Great Hall.

"Alright, well, he was bound to snap eventually," Sirius said, trying to make light of the circumstances. People around them were talking even more now. The events had been noticed by the majority of the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students and, knowing the mindset of their classmates, it wouldn't be long before everyone was hearing some various version of what had happened. Whether they would be hearing the truth or an even more exciting tale was up to those who told them.

"Go talk to him," Lily said, from where she sat, next to Peter, looking at Sirius with accusing eyes. She had been watching the four of them since dinner began, like she had sensed what was going to happen. Now she seemed to be calm, but her eyes told another story of exasperation at the male attitude.

"Oh, no, no, I am _not _dealing with that right now. Rem rarely gets like this and when he does you leave him alone," Sirius said, waving his fork in the general direction of the doors out of the Great Hall. "Let him sulk for a bit, it's good for the character. Add some dimensions to the person we know as Remus Lupin. He'll be new and improved before we know it. Mark my words."

"Marked," Lily replied sarcastically. She stood up and cast them all disapproving looks. "And you're his best mates?" she asked, shaking her head. She made her way out of the Great Hall and found it surprisingly easy to reach Remus, who hadn't even left the Front Hall. She walked the few feet that separated them and then grabbed his arm to get his attention and when he turned around he looked at her almost angrily. "Hey, are you alright?"

Remus was tempted to laugh at her, but he knew that she meant well and that he wasn't anywhere near that cruel. "I'm feeling lovely," he responded, in a monotone voice. It was the best he could do to hide his own perplexity towards what he was feeling. There was too much going on in his own mind and he couldn't center on one thing and instead chose to try and hide it all.

"Look, I know people talk about you two, but you should be used to it now, you know? Rem, you knew it was going to happen," Lily told him, her hand staying on his arm. She was noticeably worried about him, her green eyes didn't lie. It was get dangerously close to pity, though, one emotion that Remus despised more than any other.

He pushed her hand away and stepped back, adding to the space between them, both physically and mentally. "I wouldn't have a problem with them talking, if it wasn't for the things some of them are saying. I can deal with them putting us down." Remus paused for a moment, thinking of the words he had heard the boy next to him whispering, just loud enough for Remus to hear. "But when someone starts saying that something must be _wrong _with me because I'm gay…I can't handle that."

* * *

None of them were quite sure how Sirius had done it. Some secret passage, the house elves, they could guess, but it didn't really matter. All they knew was that he had been gone for nearly an hour and had come back with enough alcohol to get the entire House drunk and to possibly stay in that state for an extended amount of time. They were sharing it between two people. Remus had refused to drink, even at Sirius' insistence.

Rather, he had watched as James and Sirius had downed bottle after bottle and been reduced to raw emotions. Sighed as James blubbered about seemingly unrequited feelings towards Lily. Gotten a slight headache when Sirius appeared ready to jump out one of the tower's windows. Overall he was sober, but not in any more control of his emotions than his plastered friends were. When James was reduced to tears, he scarcely could hold back his own.

The flames from the fire made shadows dance on the common room walls and illuminated through darkly colored bottles, one of which Remus held in his hands. It was empty, the contents were in one of his friends, currently intoxicating their mind, but he wasn't worried about that. Instead he was tracing the label and thinking intently about how odd it was that this had all started from just one night.

Any other night would have gone along just like this one was right now. James asleep, a few feet from the fireplace. Remus had moved his tie which had been perilously close to the fire and smiled lightly at the sleeping face of his friend. Sirius was looking just as tired, but instead lying on the couch, mumbling things under his breath and occasionally shifting uneasily.

Yet somehow, that night, everything had changed and because of what? Some deal they had made while under the influence? Remus had gotten into all of this because he wanted to know what it was like to date Sirius Black and he had certainly found out. It was turbulent and confusing and detrimental to one's health. He had experience things he had never even thought of before and things he would have never admitted entered his mind from time to time.

And it was, he could acknowledge this, amazing. If it had happened at another time or some other place perhaps he wouldn't feel the way he was feeling now. Thoughts had been confirmed when Lily, and not his boyfriend, had emerged into the Front Hall to talk to him. When he realized it was only wishful thinking that kept him there, hoping for Sirius to make him happy. Because that was what Sirius did, made him happy when no one else did. But if he wasn't there to do that then what was the point? If no attempt to cheer him up was made, what kind of a relationship was that?

"Remus," Sirius said, from the couch. "What are you thinking 'bout?" Remus didn't answer, or, to be more precisely, he didn't say anything. He simply walked over to Sirius and extended his hand, which Sirius took. It was a regular practice on nights such as these for Remus to help his friends to bed if they asked for it. Most of the time they stayed in the common room, but a bed was really so much more agreeable.

Stumbling up the stairs towards the dormitory Sirius was still saying things that made no sense. "Y'know, Rem, if you, erm, if you don't stand for nothing you'll fall for everything." At which point he, himself, tripped and had to balance by holding onto Remus' neck. "Ah, thank you sir." Laughter issued into Remus' ear, but he ignored it as they entered the dormitory.

"Night, then," Remus said, squirming out of the other boy's grasp and making his way towards his own bed.

"Are you mad at me?" Sirius' voice sounded much farther away than it actually was.

"No," Remus responded, as he slipped off his trousers. Sirius didn't reply but Remus heard him climb into bed as he did so himself. For a few moments he just lay there. It was silent except for the breathing of the two others in the dormitory. It was silent everywhere, even in his mind, because he didn't know what to think. On one hand, he really did love Sirius, but on the other he wasn't sure if it was worth it. People always said things about how love could get you through everything. But, if that was the case, that meant it wasn't really love, didn't it? Because he wasn't getting through this at all. Quite on the contrary, he was struggling with things that he felt he didn't deserve to be going through.

Then he would be reminded how it had been his choice. If he had just said no. If he had never agreed to all of this. If he and his friends hadn't been so stupid as to get drunk that night. Well, all he could think was that he was done with that. He had made his choice and now he had another one to make. It surprised him how emotionally incongruous he was becoming, crying now, in one of those strange, silent ways. Though it pained him to admit it, and though he wanted to come to a different decision, he was only coming to one.

_It's over._

**A/N**: How I love myself an angsty Remus. As you probably don't know, I have a strange affinity towards the Founding Fathers, especially Alexander Hamilton, and if you know a thing about them hopefully you caught onto the joke I threw in there. Moving on, I have a whole new Rem and Siri fic that should be up soon (when my beta gets it back to me) and this is my form of shameless advertising. Rather short, but I like this chapter. Huzza. Review even if you don't.


	13. An Ocean Away

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: So how many more chapters will there be after this one? The answer is one. Maybe an epilogue if I or anyone else wants it. It's disappointing to me, too, because I love writing this story. Anyway, part of me could see this story as canon. I mean, not that Jo's going to read this and be like 'Dear gods, she's figured me out!' Or will she? Doubtful. On to what you didn't pay for, as it were. OH, thank you to **FlamingMothBalls **who is my beta for this story. She's such a dear, really, very amazing. Love her. :D And on we go...  
**Disclaimer**: It's been a while, but guess what? I'm _still _not Jo. Do we need the smelling salts? 'Cause I'm sure that one made you faint of shock.

**Chapter Thirteen**: An Ocean Away

Remus woke up early, much earlier than usual, just as the sun was rising over the horizon. He hadn't slept well at all, but his mind wasn't in the mood to consider how his body was feeling. At such an early hour of the morning the only sounds in the dormitory were those of the other people around him in their beds, each of them in various states of sleep.

He didn't know what to think about as he left the dormitory, because he had thought about it all by this point. He knew what he had to do, what he _needed _to do. But, as is human nature, it wasn't what he wanted to do. Contemplating this was no more fun than thinking about the approaching full moon, which was coming up much too soon for his own taste. Then again, it was always coming up too soon.

He knew he had to do it soon, because if he took too long to say anything he wouldn't have the courage to do it anymore. As he walked past the tightly shut doors of the library he thought. Whether he even had the courage to do it in the first place. What he was going to say. And, more than anything, what would happen to them. Remus had seen enough couples break up and never talk again and he wasn't looking for that to happen in this instance. If Sirius wasn't his friend anymore, he could imagine James following suit and Peter, the git, would always side with them.

No matter what happened, Remus was fairly sure things would never be the same. That was what he told himself was the worst part of it all. Losing friends or diminishing friendships all because of something he felt he had to do. Not once did he think solely about his and Sirius' relationship and that, difficult though they had been, the past few months had been some of the best he could recall. Refusing to think about that meant he didn't have to be let down by the time that would follow, leaving him without Sirius in any way.

Thinking about losing Sirius as a friend was substantially easier than thinking about losing him as his boyfriend. It was less of a loss, because he had never expected friends in the first place and could easily take on some form of loner status, but keeping Sirius as a friend meant being around him at all times when he wanted more. All he continued to tell himself as he walked around the school aimlessly, stopping here and there when he felt it necessary, was that this had been bound to happen from the beginning. Almost entering the Great Hall twenty minutes before breakfast, but not quite, standing in front of the hospital wing where he would be in a matter of days, and then finally to the bathrooms on the second floor.

His mirror image was interesting in that it reflected exactly how he felt. There was a certain sort of tiredness that had engulfed his face, fretful exhaustion mixed with intense worry. Remus often times wore his emotions on his sleeve, but this was just too literal, even for him. Leaning over the sink he splashed some water onto his pale face and sighed as his reflection looked back at him, drained as ever.

"Why weren't you at breakfast?" The voice surprised him and Remus nearly banged his head on the glass surface that he was staring into. For a fleeting second he had the false hope that it was Sirius, maybe even some false dread. Remus didn't turn around though. He chose to look at James using the mirror, taking the easy way out as he seemed to be doing with everything these days.

"Wasn't hungry," he answered simply, gripping the edge of the sink, unsure of what else to do as he watched James' disbelieving smirk appear and then as he reached up to his glasses and took them off, raising his eyebrows in mock contemplation. "Hilarious, James, really, I'm dying of laughter."

"You _will _be dying of starvation if you skip every meal for the sole purpose of not talking to Sirius," James said, keeping his eyes fixed on Remus.

"Here's a crazy idea – why doesn't _he_ tell me that? Unless, of course, he doesn't know that's what's going on and you're more intuitive to me than he is, in which case I believe I'm justified in avoiding him," Remus pointed out, turning around finally and leaning back against the sink as he spoke, keeping his eyes on the floor. It was easier to pretend he was talking to something that couldn't talk back.

"Right, because you're being really mature and talking to him," James said sarcastically, kicking at the floor a sudden noise that startled Remus enough to finally look at his mate's face. "Look, I'm not going to get all self-righteous on you, though you probably deserve it. All I'm going to say is your time would probably be better spent talking to your boyfriend rather than ignoring his existence."

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "I want to…end it," he mumbled softly.

"Rem." James said it lightly, but his face looked almost pained, like there was more he wanted to say, but neither one of them spoke for a few moments.

"I've thought about it. I didn't just wake up this morning and decide it would be fun to break up with him," Remus said defensively. His eyes trailed once more down to the floor. "Believe me, I'm really not excited to do this. I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do during class." Remus ran one of his hands through his hair as he thought about this to himself.

"Funny thought. Grow some balls?"

"Thanks for the support, Prongs."

"Say what you want, I'm just excited to see you destroy this in whatever way you come up with, Moony," James said, finally, his voice laced with a deadly brand of sarcasm.

* * *

"Do you want some help?"

"I don't need any help, thanks," Remus replied, as he cut the lovage in front of him into strips. He kept his eyes sharp on what he was doing rather than looking at Sirius who had asked him the question. He was well aware that his potion ingredient wasn't in need of any more mutilation, but he had nothing else to focus on, lest he let his thoughts wander to the person sitting next to him.

"Are you sure? Because, erm, you're kind of killing the poor plant," Sirius said softly, watching Remus' frantic movements with worrisome eyes.

"Well, maybe if you would stop watching my every move," Remus muttered. "Fuck." A sudden swipe had hit is index finger, a slightly left a cut. It wasn't by any means a bad injury, but it stung even so.

Sirius grabbed his wrist, acting as if he had some life-threatening ailment. "Goodness, are you alright, Love?" There was a shocking amount of concern in his eyes, something Remus wouldn't have expected at any other time. Now he felt that he had brought this upon himself, that Sirius knew what was coming and was trying to somehow make up for it however he could, even if it meant overreacting to a small slice of Remus' finger.

Wrenching his arm away from Sirius' grip with strength that wasn't necessary, Remus hissed, "I'm fine, alright? It's just a cut, I've certainly had _worse_." Emphasizing the last word, think of late nights in the Shrieking Shack. "It's not like I'm going to die, Merlin." He said knowing perfectly well that Sirius was more worried about their relationship dying than his actual death. Sirius' arms fell to the table and he leaned forward, placing his head in his hands and looking melancholy, and didn't speak for the rest of the lesson.

James was watching them with obvious disdain, shaking his head as he deposited a handful of lovage into his own potion. Sparks flew from inside the cauldron and clashed with the emotional ones flying in-between Sirius and Remus. For a few seconds Remus was under the impression that the dungeons might explode from the mixture of quiet and discomforting feelings. But nothing exploded for the time being.

* * *

Closing his eyes, Remus found it incredibly hard to walk through the hallways. But it was even worse to keep them open and face things. Nothing had even happened yet, but he was sure Sirius knew. Sure that everyone knew. They didn't walk together and they shared scarcely a word of conversation. Remus skipped lunch and almost, for the first time in his school career, considered skipping their next class just to get away for an hour or two.

Luckily this wasn't a problem because Sirius had the same idea and the guts to go through with it, along with James. The two skipped class at least once a month and the teachers never knew why they couldn't catch them. Since their recent creation of what James had christened the 'Marauder's Map' it wasn't even close to a problem. The map still was having technical difficulties, the ink would sometimes leak off of the paper and thought it was funny to make names into anagrams to confuse its user, but it was an invaluable tool despite this.

Professor McGonagall gave a knowing look towards Remus as class began, as if he knew where they were. Understandable, to say the least, and it made him embarrassed that he had no idea where either of his mates were. Instead of thinking about this he put a blockade up on his thoughts and concentrated on what his teacher was telling them about the finer points of reversing an invisibility Transfiguration.

Listening and doing were two completely different things. Making his iguana disappear was hard for him, the creature's tail stayed stubbornly visible, swishing back and forth off the edge of his desk. Next to him Peter was trying to keep his own iguana on the desk, his seemed more apt to scurrying off of the surface and underneath a row of desks. Several girls would cry out every time this happened, disrupting class.

Yet Remus wasn't paying attention to any of this. It took his several minutes to realize that Professor McGonagall was speaking to him, and even then he was at a loss for what her words were meant to convey. "Mister Lupin, you should be able to do an Invisibility Spell by now, we've been doing them for months." Remus didn't verbally respond, just let his wand listlessly fall onto the desk as he stared forward. "Mister Lupin?" A few seconds later she left him alone.

Sadly, he knew that it was now or never. He was a complete coward for waiting so long to face this situation. And as much as he wanted to disappear completely he couldn't completely commit to the idea, because he knew what he had to do even if he didn't want to do it. Disappearing wasn't going to help him by any stretch of the imagination, although he wanted it to, he simply wasn't going to be able to hide out forever.

Leaving class took him longer than usual. Remus found himself dropping his parchment on account of stubbornly shaking hands and a distracted mind. When he finally made his way out in the corridor he was surprised to find James leaning against the wall, arms crossed, looking impeccably aloof as always, waiting for him without Sirius at his side. Part of him was relieved but another part of him was saddened that Sirius had not chosen to be there.

"You know what's coming up, don't you?" James said in a solemn voice as he joined Remus, making their way slowly down the hallway and towards the stairs. Remus didn't answer, only gave him a quizzical look. "Christmas vacation!" An utterly unforeseen statement; James' face was beaming with excitement at the idea.

"I know that I'm shaking in anticipation," Remus replied, his words literal, if not related to James' words, at least applying to his current state of mind.

Conversation didn't take much; James supplied most of it, talking about playing Quidditch in the marsh behind his house, possible plans to see Lily around New Years and how Remus should definitely join them, what he might be getting for Christmas. All that Remus had to do was agree, whether it be through remarks or by nodding his head, disagree heatedly when it was called for, act like he was engrossed in the exchange of words every time James looked at him and then let his eyes glaze over when his friend was preoccupied by some other sight for a minute.

"Look who it is!" James said suddenly, drawing Remus out of his stupor. For a minute Remus looked at his companion in confusion until James tilted his head forward and the werewolf turned to see Sirius looking incredibly awkward, a few feet from the doorway that led out onto the stairway. The two locked eyes almost immediately and for once it was Sirius who looked away hurriedly, finding a tapestry on the wall to be infinitely more interesting. "Oh, come on," James groaned. "This played out so well in my mind."

"Well this is Hogwarts after all, it's not the 'Adventures of James Potter and Friends'," Remus said sarcastically, forcing himself to keep a steady voice as he spoke. The halls were becoming less crowded as people moved from lesson to lesson and they were virtually alone save for the odd student walking past, none paying much attention to the circumstances around them.

"Really, what did you do Prongs? Read every cliché romance novel you could find?" Sirius added, a slightly roguish, and admittedly appealing, smiling forming on his face, but quickly leaving as he saw that neither of his mates showed any form of amusement at these words, and he even went as far as to offer a muttered apology, something Remus was almost disheartened to hear because it was completely unlike the raven-haired boy to do such a thing. "I know _you _don't want to talk to me, so can we just call this a failed mission and go our separate ways?"

Remus was almost infuriated by these remarks even though he knew them to have some ounce of truth. "It's not that I don't want to talk to you," he said, abruptly, causing James to look almost eager.

"That's it," he said in a thrilled tone of voice.

"You sure have a lousy way of showing it then," Sirius responded swiftly, though less irritated than he was before. "I know what this is all about; I'm not completely daft after all. You want out of this even though I gave you that option months ago. It's really fine. I mean, most people would have given up a while ago. Granted – "

"You guys aren't supposed to fight," James interrupted, sounding even more livid than either of them did.

"Shut up, James," Sirius said, although it wasn't in a harsh way, it was almost a warning. "Granted," he continued, "I have defended you through all of this while you stand on the sidelines. I guess I should have known, as soon as things get hard you walk away, right Remus? You'll give anything a chance, but once people start talking it's not worth it."

"Excuse me, but I never asked you to defend me, Sirius," Remus retaliated, the overwhelming urge to drop all of his things and pull at his hair almost got him, but instead he gripped what he was holding tighter, even his nearly slipping dignity, as his voice rose. "No one asked you to do what you did. Perhaps your combination of temper and ego has fooled you into thinking that I begged you to fight for me, but as far as I know that was all done on your own accord."

There are times when our relationships are tested. The truth is that every couple goes through hard times. Fate too often takes the reigns of our life and forces events upon us that are so completely beyond our control that our original responses aren't our true once. The next chance that we have is all that we have and it is in that moment that we are really tested. All it can take is one damning word to ruin something and all it can take is one gratifying word to fix it. And if the relationship is really meant to be, then it sometimes it doesn't even matter what we say, sometimes destiny will take hold and do what it can for us.

Destiny sent, of all people, Barty Crouch Junior. The words he said in passing were ones that Remus should be used to: "What fags." He heard these words every day and he had almost blocked them from his mind, but at this moment when the statement reached his ears it affected him. He let everything go, parchment, books, quills and dignity alike, grabbed Barty Crouch Jr. and slammed the younger boy against the wall.

Pent up with anger from months of not taking his emotions out on anyone, Remus unleashed it all on the younger boy vocally. "Real original, Crouch, you never cease to amaze me," he snarled. "What else do you spend your days observing? The color of the sky? Because, hey, that's pretty fucking obvious, too. I am sick of hearing you and everyone else act like you're so self-righteous because you throw around supposed put-downs to me and my boyfriend." He let go of Barty, but neither one of them moved and Barty stared at him in unconcealed shock. "Yes, I'm gay, thanks for pointing it out. Now hurry off to your class and pretend to learn something you'll never use and think about the fact that you'll never be anything more than a nuisance."

It was odd the way Barty reacted. Instead of saying something or retaliating with a witty comment he literally ran down the hallway towards the Transfiguration classroom, his friends in tow. "Alright, well, where were we?" Remus said, turning back to his mates. James and Sirius were both staring at him as if he just killed the boy. "I think we were at, ah, me not being able to defend myself, which honestly, I had my doubts about, but that wasn't so bad was it?"

"Merlin, Moony," was all James said, looking at him in astonishment. "Remind me to _never _get on your bad side."

Sirius, on the other hand, seemed to have noticed something else. "Did you hear that James?" he said. James didn't seem to hear him, but Sirius persisted on nevertheless. "You heard what he said, right?" he said, happily, grabbing the shoulder of an arbitrary passerby, a young girl who looked rather frightened and scurried away. "Rem, love, you called me your boyfriend," he said breathlessly, grabbing Remus' hand.

"I did?" Remus said, almost not sure if he had. "I did," he confirmed, allowing his grip on Sirius' hand to tighten and then they exchanged a tentative smile. "All my stuff is – it's on the – I'm not sure if I remember the word. Ground, it's on the, yeah, the ground."

"He can't even speak, he looks a bit dreamy," James said. "If he starts to blush any tell me, because, goodness, then he'll have all symptoms of lovesickness and we don't want that do we?"

"Speak for yourself," Sirius said, planting a kiss on Remus' cheeks which were indeed growing red. In spite of things that he had said before, Remus was now sure of a small number of things. Sirius was not perfect and neither was he, and they certainly were not perfect together. They had their share of problems and they were always going to. Not everyone was going to accept them and, most of the time almost no one was going to. But, as they walked down the stairs, holding hands and pushing through groups of people who would always watch them with some peculiar interest, Remus knew that they didn't need to be perfect, they didn't need to have a flawless relationship and they didn't need people to accept them.

They just needed each other.

**A/N**: I have a way of making things cheesy without sacrificing the integrity of the story. Or so I tell myself. Sorry for taking longer than usual to update. I discovered I can watch the show _House_ online and, well, I'm addicted to innocent Aussies with great hair and Vicodin-popping cynical doctors, so I've been watching non-stop. Ah, corruption. Oh and the season finale was on, I was a total crybaby. Plus I spent all night Tuesday voting for David Cook and he FUCKING WON. dsjflkhsdgjbsdg. Okay, sorry. Anyway. Review even if you hate it.


	14. Those Things Are Going To Change

**Drunken Deals**

**A/N**: No, I'm not dead. Haha. So basically, I haven't had time to write fanfiction at all recently. I've been writing my novel non-stop. And I'm finally updating this, because it definitely needs to be updated. There will be an epilogue after this. I'm so sorry that it took so long. The rating is up. This isn't beta'd because I didn't want you guys to have to wait any longer. By the way. Read the prequel to this if you haven't yet. The name of the chapter is from Beck's song Loser. Here you go.

**Chapter Fourteen**: Those Things Are Going To Change

There was only one problem with the entire situation, Remus thought to himself as he looked out the window of the train compartment he sat in. Sirius moved next to him, mumbling something about Christmas under his breath, eyelashes fluttering. Remus didn't give a second thought to what the boy was dreaming about, though he could easy guess from recent conversations that it had something to do with presents. There was one problem and it was simple: he had neglected to tell his mother what was going on.

James and Peter sat across from them, both looking just as tired as Remus felt. All of them had been up late the night before, some sort of odd ritual they had. The night before vacation was spent doing the opposite of what their peers were caught up in. Which was sleeping. Meaning the four self-appointed marauders were up until all hours of the night. Because of James inability to stay awake when under the influence, this sleepless night was not accompanied by any sort of alcohol.

A blessing in Remus' book. As far as he was concerned, drinking had lost all of its allure in the past year. He couldn't speak for his friends, but in his opinion they all had a much better time when they didn't have a bottle in their hands or any illegal substances in their system. At about seven in the morning, when the rest of their classmates were waking up, they were silent in the common room, struggling to stay awake. Breakfast had resulted in James falling asleep right there at the table and consequently having the right side of his face covered in food.

Outside it was cold and snow was falling in a fast flurry, covering the landscape of the country with a thick layer of snowfall, fitting for the holiday that was coming up in a matter of days. Sirius had quickly gone to sleep only minutes after they had gotten on the train. Peter looked dangerously close to doing the same, but every time he began to nod off the train would jerk and he would be forced to wake up. Somehow Sirius managed to sleep through everything.

He even managed to sleep when the train came to a slow stop and Remus tried to wake him. "Sirius. Wake up," he said as he shook the other boy's shoulder. Sirius simply rolled over and covered his eyes with his arm. "Please wake up, Pads," Remus finally whispered, right into Sirius' ear. At that point Sirius opened one of his eyes and grimaced at the afternoon light that was streaming through the train window, but allowed Remus to pull him away from the compartment once they got their things.

"You know, I should warn you, my mum – " Remus began, as they walked off of the train. His eyes were on Sirius as he spoke and he was caught off guard by his mother grabbing him tightly and pulling him close before he got the warning of just how affectionate the woman could be out of his mouth. Her perfume was overwhelming and he was quickly surrounded by the smell of roses and cinnamon, unable to speak until she let him go and he took a step back in a dizzying manner.

Carys Lupin smiled at the four boys. "Well," she said, clasping her hands together, "which one of Remus' friends is coming to visit?" Sirius grinned and threw his arm flamboyantly around Remus' shoulders, the act making it clear that he was the one to be staying over for Christmas vacation. "Ah, Sirius Black. We've never been formally introduced, but I've certainly heard a thing or ten about you." Remus blushed furiously from underneath his hair.

"Travesty, really, this crazy boy neglecting his duties, you have so much to catch up on," Sirius told her, his smile growing even larger.

"All I have to say is that I'm glad I'm going home so I don't have to be with you crazy kids for two weeks," James muttered. With a quick smile he and Peter moved through the crowd to find their own families and left the other three to converse alone. The next few minutes were only awkward for Remus, as his mother and boyfriend spoke like old friends in the crowded area that was Platform 9 ¾.

"Now, I don't know what Rem here has told you, but as far as I know you're in the dark about a few things which are concerning him and I," Sirius said promptly, surprisingly bringing this fact up already. Remus gave him a look telling Sirius what they both already knew. "He wants to tell you," Sirius said to Remus' mother, although he kept his eyes on the other boy. "But, if you know him as well as I do, and I'm sure you do, he won't end up telling you for quite a while. So what say you, then, that I just tell you what's going on and we go happily on with life."

Remus, indignant at the events going on around him, said, "Excuse me, but I happen to be right here, so you can stop referring to me as 'he' and acknowledge the fact that I'm standing next to you." To further fuel his irritation, his mother reached out and ruffled his hair lightly, giving him a look that made him almost feel like a child. Both she and Sirius had the ability to make him feel this way and normally he didn't put up with it, but he managed to keep his face serene through it all.

"He sure is cute," Sirius said, in a doting voice Remus had never heard before. "Great genes, obviously. It runs in the family, look at you two!" He pushed Remus towards his mother and put a hand to his own heart. In all truth Remus did look like his mother, but only to a certain point. They had the same amber eyes and pale skin and, as of right now, the same confused look on their faces.

"Does he do this when he wants something?" Carys asked, looking to her son, who sighed in response. "I'm not royalty, Sirius; you don't have to appease me before you tell me whatever it is you're getting at," she said with another feature she shared with Remus; an inviting smile. Currently Remus was watching the people around them, sure everyone was listening in when in reality most people probably couldn't have cared less what was going on between two teenage boys and the middle-aged mother.

"Oh, gods, did you hear that Rem?" Sirius cried excitedly, grabbing his boyfriend's arm and pulling him back into reality. "Misses Lupin, you have just given me a river. Well, not a real river. But say we are traveling down a river, just pretend, exercise that imagination. We're going down that river and you, Misses Lupin, have just found the ocean we have been looking for. Royalty! Because by definition of the modern-day teenage mind, me and your son could be called just that."

"Come again?" Remus muttered, lost in the analogy Sirius had just painted for them.

His mother seemed just as confused. "Why are we on a river?" she asked, looking around the steadily emptying area they were in as if searching for the body of water that Sirius had described. It seemed that, besides looks, imagination was thoroughly lacking between the two, at least where water was concerned. Sirius only looked flustered for a moment, but seemed to decide on a more blunt way of explanation.

"We're dating," Sirius said, unabashedly. "Well, bloody hell, Rem, we _are_, aren't we?" he added when Remus punched his upper arm. Remus was thoroughly angry, not because his mother knew, but because she knew before she got to know Sirius and for the reason that Remus hadn't been the one to tell her. Of course, he was aware that she wouldn't be kept in the dark for two weeks of vacation, but he had some sort of idea of how he wanted to break the news to her and it definitely didn't involve their first five minutes of being reunited.

"Do your parents know?" Carys Lupin surprised both of the boys by letting these be the first words to come out of her mouth. But, while Remus reacted in a classic-astonishment way, widening his eyes and his mind being wiped blank, Sirius just smiled and then punched Remus' upper arm, in a sort of payback for earlier actions. Remus' mother watched them both with an unreadable look that even her son found hard to decipher.

"Why wouldn't they?" Sirius said happily. "My brother can't keep his mouth shut. Mind you, they aren't too thrilled about the whole thing. Not a problem though, who needs them when you've got Rem, am I right?" He grabbed Remus into a hug, but Remus was too busy watching his mother to return the gesture. Carys was smiling, but there was something false about it; something that Remus left alone as they made their way home by way of Side-Along-Apparition; something that he left alone all through dinner and even when he went to bed. _In the morning_, he promised himself, as he stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. _In the morning I'll talk to her._

* * *

In the morning he found his mother in the kitchen. Sirius was still asleep on the floor of his room. Much to Remus' protests, his mother's room was right next door after all, Sirius had climbed into bed with him around midnight and apparently fallen back out in the early hours of the morning. Remus' house wasn't small, but it wasn't large either. There were only two bedrooms on the upper floor and the majority of the first was taken up by what could only described as half-kitchen, half-living room. Presently, Carys was sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over the most recent _Daily Prophet_.

"Morning, mum," Remus said lightly, sitting down across from her. All he got was a quick smile in response, the soft noise of her turning one of the pages of the paper and a small sniffle as she read something that seemed to displease her. Or perhaps it was her son that displeased her. Remus sank down further in his chair and tapped his fingers on the edge of the table before he spoke again. "I was going to wait to tell you, you know. But Sirius just kind of, well, said what needed to be said, I suppose."

Carys lowered the paper down so that she could see his face. They met eyes and she looked away, then set the paper on the table and leaned back. "He has quite the mouth on him," she said. Remus was pleased to see that she had a small, genuine smile on her face. "I'm fine with it, Remus; don't take it as my disapproval. I just – I was expecting something more like you and your friend coming over for vacation and we could all have a quaint little time together. Not, you know, finding out that you were dating one of your friends within moments of meeting him."

"Ah," was all he replied with for a few seconds. He leaned forward and played with a strand of his hair, thinking of some sort of response for what his mother had just said. She was like Sirius in many ways, leaving him speechless with things he hadn't thought of before. Now, considering her statements he could see her dilemma. It wasn't so much that she was against them as it was that she didn't know what to think. "We didn't plan on it happening. We actually…we made this deal. I don't think Sirius or I had any idea what we were getting into."

"Sort of sounds like you were drinking when said deal was set," his mother said, looking amused, her eyebrows raised.

"Mum!" Remus said, aghast. He may have been the sort of person to tell his mother a lot of what was going on in his life, but never once had he mentioned the drinking habits of his friends and, eventually, his own. It just didn't seem like something to tell your parent, no matter how close to them you were, especially when you usually stole the alcohol from defenseless house-elves.

"Ah, those were the years," Carys said, her mind apparently wandering off to some better times in her life. It wasn't until Remus coughed abruptly that she smiled and spoke again. "I'm sure it's going to take me a bit to get used to it. This means I won't have any grandchildren, doesn't it?" her words were solemn, but her tone was joking.

"I'd have to say the chances are slim to none," Remus admitted. The two exchanged a smile, something that was bound to happen. As a mother and a son they had been through enough together that there was quite literally no event that could tear them apart. As Carys had once pointed out, once a werewolf enters the picture, nothing really fazes you anymore.

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" Sirius mumbled. Remus jumped, startled by the sound of his voice. The past few days had gone by without much ado. Amidst Sirius' botched attempts to help with cooking and the relatively quick adaptation of his mother to the situation, Remus had been quiet, catching up with the thoughts in his head that had been running away since school had begun. His own house was easier to think in, as most homes are. It was a source of comfort to do his thinking in the solace of his bedroom rather than in a dorm room he shared with three other males his age.

Christmas was the next morning, but judging by the darkness outside, the holiday might actually be upon them. Remus wasn't very concerned about what day it was, he was more worried about what was going through his own mind. "Nothing," he lied quietly, from where he sat on his bed. Sirius climbed up next to him from his spot on the floor. "Really it's nothing," Remus asserted again.

"Alright," Sirius agreed with a shrug. Remus had been waiting for Sirius to try something like this for days and was barely surprised, if not a little resistant as he was pushed back onto his bed and found Sirius' mouth on his own for the first time in days. Needless to say, he more than welcomed it, returning the kisses until Sirius pulled away. "I don't have any Muggle money. So, that was a kiss or two for your thoughts." Remus pushed him away in mock annoyance, which Sirius easily recognized.

"Well it's not so much thoughts as it is one big cycle I see going on," he said with a sigh. Sirius moved closer to him and lay his head on Remus' chest. The action caused Remus to smile and he continued, "We both know, obviously, what happened at school, and we got over that as best as we could. But it really isn't that far away, you know? When we'll be out of school and we're going to have to deal with a lot more than just the student body being against us."

"I'm failing to see the problem here," Sirius said, looking almost entertained by Remus' thoughts. "I mean, really, as horribly lame as it sounds, Moony, we've gotten through a lot in the past few months and I don't know about you, but to me that proves something about us."

"So you're thinking this – me and you – this is it?" Remus asked, not sure what he really meant.

"Well _this _is always _it _when it's happening," Sirius responded. "Whether or not this is going to last depends on what we do, not anyone else. Not that it's us against the world, but it is us against a considerable amount of people." He laughed softly after he said these words and then, much to Remus' surprise, leaned over and kissed his neck, moving further down until his lips touched a fading scar above his collarbone, then looked Remus in the eyes deviously, a look that made the smaller boy shiver.

The boxers that he was wearing were easily shed by the other boy and the chill that hit his now exposed flesh was almost shocking. Sirius' hands were much too close, yet not close enough, touching his inner thighs as Remus whimpered in anticipation. Sirius was placing a trail of kisses down his stomach, but stopped a few inches away from Remus' erection, whispering, "You love me, right, Remus?"

A terrible time to ask, Remus' voice caught in his throat, nearly escaping as a low moan, but he prevented it, only managing a barely audible: "Yes." That was all that Sirius apparently needed, as he advanced, taking Remus into his mouth. Remus clutched at the sheets beneath him, trying to blink away the sounds he wanted to make. Somewhere between one of his hands losing it's grip on the fabric and Sirius' odd mix of gentle and harsh movements Remus lost any hope of keeping quiet as he called out the other boy's name.

"Well, I love you too," Sirius said, quietly, as he licked his lips. He kissed Remus on the mouth, then messed up his hair, laying his head on the pillow next to Remus, softly.

Neither one of them said anything for some time, lying next to each other in silence. "I _had _considered getting you an overly cliché statement for Christmas," Sirius said, at last, "but in the end I was just kind of like 'nah, he'd probably like a blow job better' and I think it all turned out for the best. Besides, you can't return anything cliché, and if it didn't fit the moment, I mean, I wasn't sure I wanted to risk that."

Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled at the young man next to him. "Not a problem," he said. "I got you an overly cliché statement anyway, so it would have been all awkward and that always ruins Christmas." They agreed wordlessly and the werewolf moved closer to the boy and it was only a matter of time before they were sound asleep, breathing in synch.

* * *

"When is the next full moon?" Carys Lupin asked as she and Remus stood on the porch of their house. Sirius was several hundred feet away, lying motionless in the snow. Remus had actually been considering going over to make sure he was still breathing. They were getting ready to leave for King's Cross as it was the last day of Christmas vacation.

Remus thought for a moment. "Erm, in about two weeks, I believe. The middle of this month sometime," he said slowly. "I haven't really been keeping track, but I suppose I'll figure it out in Astronomy class. Why?" His mother wasn't usually concerned with when the full moon was going to happen when he wasn't at home. After all, Dumbledore had ironed out all the problems for him with his condition at Hogwarts long before he had even arrived.

"Oh, nothing. I just thought it might have been on Christmas Eve, but then again, Sirius probably wouldn't be with us anymore, bless his soul," his mother responded indifferently. Remus felt his face grow pale as he watched his mother knowingly smile at him. It was one thing for her to know about him being gay and perhaps even about his late nights spent drinking, but quite another for her to have figured out his sex life this soon.

"Right, well, it's – I would say it's time to go," he said quickly. "I'll go get Sirius, yeah?" Without a disapproving or approving word from Carys he practically bolted from the porch, making his way towards Sirius, who had somehow fallen asleep in his self-made snow angel. Before waking him up, Remus squinted at the outline of wings around his boyfriend. Thinking of their history together from the day they had met he summed up the paradox of Sirius as an angel in one word, "Lies. Come on angel, it's time to go back to Hell."

**A/N**: Hey you guys. I have a favor to ask. I trust you people. A lot. I need opinions on my novel from people who will be honest and will not be biased. E-mail me at bbyb0p(at)live(dot)com and let me know if you want to read it and tell me if you like it. Thank you in advance? :D Epilogue coming soon. It isn't be very long, but it should tie up some loose ends and just be a fitting ending for a story that I never thought anyone would really like (at all, seriously). And I hope someone got the royalty joke, if not…oh my, where have you been? May I remind you: terrible at sex. And sashay. Ah, well. By the way, I'm still sorry this took so long, but the epilogue will be up soon, so sorry? Anyway. Review even if you hate it.


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